Parsley Shallot Sauce: The Glory of Green

My apologies for the last couple of days, dear readers. I’ve been horribly delinquent with the blog due to a combination of Easter, work, and trying to pick up “Lost” in its fourth season. (Note: not a good idea. Every 15 minutes or so an event transpires where The Boyfriend yells, “AUUUUGH! NO WAY!” and it’s like, a guy mopping or something. He assures me that it has gigantic meaning in the context of the series, but … mopping. Yeah.)

Anyway, we were down in Virginia this past weekend to visit his family/play Throw the Rock with his gobsmackingly adorable nephew. (Seriously, this kid makes Suri Cruise look like the Elephant Man.) ‘Twas a lovely time, as it’s a lovely place, and they’re lovely people (also: cutthroat card players). And while there were many highlights, my favorite was a conversation with a local three-year-old, during which I learned the following:

1) “The Eastew Bunny was heah last night.”
2) “I have DIAWHHEA.”
3) “Diawwhea HUWTS.”

Too true, kid. Too true.

All the festivities kept me from cooking anything, much less anything resembling health food. Fortunately, I had a banked recipe in my back pocket for just such an occasion. (Note: not literally. A back pocket full of recipes would be silly, not to mention hard to sit on.)

A few weeks ago, The Boyfriend and I were experimenting with pork. We made Ellie Krieger’s Herb Roasted Pork Loin with Parsley Shallot Sauce twice, and both times, the roast was unbearably dry. It was a shame, because the Parsley Shallot Sauce was really, really, really fargin’ good. So good, in fact, we both ate it with a spoon afterward. And usually it’s just me doing that.

Two pig-based meals later, we finally got the cooking methods and temperatures down for the pork (seen here). Alas, we had moved on to other toppings. Well – now, Parsley Shallot Sauce gets its due. The recipe is listed below in all its green majesty, awaiting your roast. I promise, at the very least, it will not give you diawhhea. Because that would huwt.

(Oh yeah - please note that I only made a third of a batch [listed here] because it’s just TB and I eating. The proportions on Ellie’s site are designed to serve a much larger crowd.)

Parsley Shallot Sauce
Makes 3 servings (good enough for a 1-lb roast)
Adapted from Ellie Krieger.

1/2 cups lightly packed flat-leaf parsley leaves
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped shallot
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons water
2/3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/16 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper

1) Add all ingredients to a blender. Puree until pretty smooth. Serve over pork, as prepared here. 

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
38 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.44

Calculations
1/2 cups lightly packed flat-leaf parsley leaves: 11 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.66
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped shallot: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard: 15 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil: 79 calories, 8.9 g fat, $0.06
2 teaspoons water: negligible calories and fat, free
2/3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
1/16 teaspoon salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
Freshly ground black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 113 calories, 14.1 g fat, $1.33
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 38 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.44

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Strawberries with Balsamic Vinegar

Reactions on trying All Recipes’ Strawberries with Balsamic Vinegar for the first time:

Bite 1: (*chews slowly, thoughtfully*) Uh huh. Uh huh. (*swallows*) Hm. Nothing … nothing … what’s going on here? All the reviews said this would be an insane new … YEOW! THERE it is. What kind of bizarro Twilight Zone tang IS that? My tongue! What’s happening to my TONGUE?

Bite 4: Okay, the crazypants epiglottal sensation has died down a bit, but I still can’t place this flavor. It’s sweet? It’s savory? I guess? Can I get some help here?

Bite 7: All right, all right. I’m getting this. Balsamic vinegar and strawberries … they’re Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. One’s a sassy, be-afro’ed New Yorker and the other’s a tragically handsome Midwesterner. You’re not really sure they’ll work together at first, but they do, and it’s a beautiful thing. Then she sings and they break up, and you cry a little, but it’s all good in the end, because she’s found herself and everybody’s okay.

(That metaphor went off the rails somewhere.)

Bite 10: Wow. This is really luscious. I think this might replace strawberries and chocolate as my new favorite strawberry-related pairing. Who thought this up? Was it a chef? Some nice lady in Utah? Maybe it was accidental, like the dude who lucked on to vulcanized rubber? Whatever. I need to write a thank you note.

Bite 13: Holy moly. That was delicious. (*glances around nervously to see if anyone’s watching*) Hey roommates! Are you home? Anyone? Okay. (*raises bowl to mouth, furiously licks it clean*) Ahhh … yeah, that did it. I’ll be sleeping soundly, dreaming of various fruit/vinegar pairings if anyone needs me.

Strawberries with Balsamic Vinegar
6 servings if used as topping
4 servings if standing as dessert alone
Adapted from All Recipes.

16 ounces fresh strawberries, hulled and large berries cut in half
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, or to taste

1) In a small bowl, gently combine strawberries, vinegar, and sugar. Cover. Do not put in fridge. Instead, "let sit at room temperature for at least 1 hour but not more than 4 hours." Sprinkle pepper over berries and serve immediately. Vanilla ice cream, angel food cake, or pound cake make good partners.

Approximate Calories, Price, and Fat Per Serving
6 servings (as topping): 55 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.29
4 servings (as dessert): 83 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.43

Calculations
16 ounces fresh strawberries: 145 calories, 1.4. g fat, $1.50
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar: 20 calories, 0 g fat, $0.15
1/4 cup white sugar: 186 calories, 0 g fat, $0.08
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, or to taste: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 331 calories, 1.4 g fat, $1.74
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 55 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.29
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 83 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.4

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Baked Apples and an Ode to Letterman

WOW. These Baked Apples are good. Let’s just start right there. Imagine an apple pie without the annoying crust part, and you pretty much have the idea. Dairy-free, virtually fat-free, and shockingly low in calories, they could be the perfect dessert for dieters. They're DEFINITELY the perfect dessert for lactose-intolerant vegan dieters.

I made them twice in two days, and would have kept going if we didn’t run out of fruit. (Oh, cursedly weak upper arms, why can’t you hold more grocery bags?) In fact, I liked the recipe so much, I wanted to do a Letterman-esque Top Ten list in its honor. So, without further ado...

TOP TEN REASONS THESE BAKED APPLES WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF

1. They’re warm, tender, sweet, and generally tasty as all get out.
2. Also, the smell. Woof. Very nice.
3. The five-minute prep time doesn’t hurt, either.
4. They’re WAY more filling than most other desserts. This is partly because they’re fargin’ gigantic and partly because apples are rich in fiber, which makes you feel sated longer.
5. The recipe comes from Christopher Kimball’s The Cook’s Bible. Kimball is also the proprietor of America’s Test Kitchen and Cook’s Illustrated, and can absolutely do no wrong in my book. Case in point: he regularly sports a bowtie/apron ensemble and manages to make it look like a stunning fashion statement. (Marc Jacobs, take notes.)
6. They’re pretty with an interesting presentation, though you wouldn’t know it by my food photography. I’ve owned my camera for three years now, and I’m wondering if I should finally give in and read the directions.
7. They will impress the pants off family members.
8. They’re cheap! Mine came to about $0.60 per serving. That’s less than … half a load of laundry. And if it came down to it, which would you rather have, clean underwear or dessert?
9. Don’t answer that last question.
10. I’m running out of reasons here. This is usually the part where Letterman makes a bad Michael Jackson joke or something. I’ll settle for a bad regular joke:
    Q: How many kids with short attention spans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Wanna ride bikes?

One quick note if you decide to make these (and please do, before apples become scarce): Kimball mentions that Red Delicious, Granny Smith and MacIntosh varieties are bad ideas for Baked Apples, since they don’t hold their shape well. He suggests Northern Spy, Macoun, or Cortland as good options. I tried Idared, since the sign specifically said “GREAT FOR BAKED APPLES,” and they worked beautifully.

Now, go! Run! Make 'em! You won't be unhappy, I promise.

Baked Apples
Serves 4
Adapted from The Cook's Bible, by Christopher Kimball.

½ cup sugar
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg (Double it for powdered nutmeg. – Kris)
1-1/2 cups apple cider or unfiltered apple juice
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ teaspoon lemon zest
4 apples such as Northern Spy, Macoun, Cortland or Idared, washed and dried

1) Preheat oven to 350°F.

2) In a small bowl, combine sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg. In a different small bowl, combine cider, vanilla and lemon zest. Set aside.

3) With an apple corer, melon baller, or teaspoon, core apples "without cutting through the bottom." (This is key.) Then, peel the top inch of each apple. (See picture.)

4) Stand apples up in a baking dish. Split sugar mixture evenly among apples and pour into hollowed cores. Pour cider mixture into the dish itself, and then cover the whole shebang with tin foil.

2) Bake for 30 minutes, "basting with cider once or twice." Check tenderness by gently stabbing the biggest apple with a knife or toothpick. If it's not tender, keep baking for as long as it takes, which could be anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour. (It depends on the general size of the apples.) Remove from oven and serve warm.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
214 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.61

Calculations
½ cup sugar: 387 calories, 0 g fat, $0.16
½ teaspoon cinnamon: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
¼ teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1-1/2 cups apple cider or unfiltered apple juice: 180 calories, 0 g fat, $0.75
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.03
½ teaspoon lemon zest: negligible fat and calories, $0.00 (you still get to use the lemon afterward)
4 apples such as Northern Spy, Macoun, Cortland or Idared, washed and dried: 287 calories, 0.9 g fat, $1.66
TOTAL: 857 calories, 0.9 g fat, $2.64
PER SERVING: 214 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.61

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A Tale of Two Tomato Salsas (The Super Bowl is Nigh)

With my bud D’s Super Bowl party a mere two days away, I thought yesterday would be a good time to prep my second contribution to the buffet table. (The first being Lightened Seven-Layer Taco Dip). Since salsa is simple to make, healthy by design, and beloved by all, it was a logical choice. Problem was, the produce at my local supermarket was looking less than stellar. So, I turned to canned tomatoes. And All Recipe.

Fresh Salsa 1 was the proud recipient of a 4-1/2 star rating and multiple rave reviews on the site, many of which mentioned its high heat level. Knowing that some friends would find super-spicy food inedible, I had to make a second batch with a few changes. It became kind of a contest. Whose version would taste better? Which would produce more salsa? Could I handle three pounds of tomatoes without spilling any on The Boyfriend’s Transformers t-shirt? (Answer: only Optimus Prime knows for sure.)

Thus, Salsa-off 2008 was born. I made the All Recipes formula exactly like the directions told me. Then, I tasted it and changed the following for my version:

• Drained the whole peeled tomatoes for a chunkier consistency.
• Decreased the onion and jalapeno for a milder heat.
• Sautéed the garlic in a bit of olive oil to add depth.
• Added a teaspoon of lime juice for freshness.

I sampled both salsas immediately after pureeing and then again about three hours later, after they had time to meld in the fridge. The results were good all around, but let’s compare.

Taste: I liked mine better. (Not that I’m biased.) While appetizing and definitely worth serving, the All Recipes salsa was very, very hot – too hot almost, and I’m fairly accustomed to spicy food. My milder version had a stronger, smoother garlic flavor, which I could actually detect since it wasn’t overwhelmed by scorchingosity.

Volume: All Recipes wins this one, hands down. Draining the whole peeled tomatoes meant my recipe only produced 1-1/2 cups of salsa. All Recipes almost doubled that. I got the flavor and slightly chunkier consistency I was looking for, but at the cost of serving a few more people.

Price: The total prices are within a dime of each other, but it’s two cents cheaper per serving to make the All Recipes salsa, since it produces more.

Even though there’s no clear victor, I’m ultimately chalking this experiment up in the win column. Each recipe would do Chris Berman proud, and you might even consider making both for Sunday. All Recipes provided nutritional information, so my calculations below are for price only. Everything else is per usual.

And thus ends Super Bowl Week. Hope everyone has a good game, and I’ll see you back here on Monday for more cheap, healthy goodness.

(Oh, also? Go Blue!)

FRESH SALSA 1
Makes 2-3/4 cups or 44 servings at 1 Tablespoon each
Adapted from All Recipes.

2 jalapeno chile peppers
2-1/2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1/2 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes with liquid

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Roast jalapenos on cookie sheet for 15 minutes. Let cool a little, then cut stems off.

3) Pulse jalapenos, garlic, onion, sugar, salt, cumin, and diced tomatoes with green chiles in a blender or food processor, until somewhat chunky. Add whole peeled tomatoes and pulse again until it reaches a consistency you like. Store in a covered bowl in the fridge until ready to serve.

Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
7 calories, 0 g fat, $0.04

Calculations
2 jalapeno chile peppers: $0.35
2-1/2 cloves garlic, finely chopped: $0.12
1/2 onion, finely chopped: $0.08
1/2 tablespoon white sugar: $0.01
1/2 teaspoon salt: $0.01
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin: $0.01
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers: $0.46
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes: $0.65
TOTAL: $1.67
PER SERVING (TOTAL/44): $0.04

~~~

FRESH SALSA 1 (CHG version)
Makes 1-1/2 cups or 24 servings at 1 Tablespoon each

1 jalapeno chile pepper
½ t extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/8 onion, finely chopped
1/2 tablespoon white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes, drained
1 teaspoon lime juice
cilantro (if desired)

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Roast jalapenos on cookie sheet for 15 minutes. Let cool a little, then cut stems off.

3) Heat olive oil over medium heat on a small pan. Cook chopped garlic until just before it starts to brown.

4) Pulse jalapenos, garlic, onion, sugar, salt, cumin, and diced tomatoes with green chiles in a blender or food processor, until somewhat chunky. Add whole peeled tomatoes and lime juice and pulse again until it reaches a consistency you like. Store in a covered bowl in the fridge until ready to serve.

Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.06

Calculations
1 jalapeno chile pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.17
½ t extra virgin olive oil: 20 calories, 2.2 g fat, $0.02
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped: 9 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10
1/8 onion, finely chopped: 6 calories, 0 g fat, $0.04
1/2 tablespoon white sugar: 23 calories, 0 g fat, $0.01
1/2 teaspoon salt: negligible fat and calories, $0.01
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin: negligible fat and calories, $0.01
5-oz diced tomatoes with green chile peppers: 30 calories, 0 g fat, $0.46
14 oz. whole peeled tomatoes, drained: 66 calories, 0 g fat, $0.65
1 teaspoon lime juice: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.04
cilantro (if desired): negligible calories and fat, $0.33
TOTAL: 117 calories, 2.2 g fat, $1.54
PER SERVING (TOTAL/24): 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.06

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Feeding a Vegan: Ellie Krieger’s Aromatic Noodles with Lime-Peanut Sauce

Though I’m a proud chicken devourer, vegetarianism always seemed like something I could handle. Like, if a doctor told me, “Kris, you have a terrible spleen disorder. We call it Spleenism, and it means you can’t eat, look at, smell, or make out with meat for one calendar year. What does the spleen have to do with meat, you ask? I don’t know. But let’s pretend for the sake of this essay,” I’d be fine. There are enough substitutes and options on this crazy, crazy planet to make me forget about animal flesh for at least a little while. (Well, except maybe bacon.)

Going vegan? That’s another story. I know there are a billion agave nectar muffins and triple bean chilis out there, but I’m not sure a life without cheese is worth living. What’s more, since 1977, I know exactly one successful vegan. I have a few college friends who tried it out way back when, but among them, even the crunchiest of Phish fan hippies failed miserably. A butterless universe seemed meaningless, and within a month or two, they always went back to the wide world of mozzarella sticks. (It sounds like I’m knocking veganism here, but I swear, I’m not. I respect and admire anyone who can hack it without resorting to rice 24/7.)

Incidentally, my one successful vegan friend, S, came over for dinner last night. Now in his ‘30s, S has been a vegan for years and years, and by god, I didn’t want to poison him. I figured pasta was safe, so I began by researching veggie-heavy noodle dishes. Then, I remembered Ellie Krieger’s Aromatic Noodles with Lime-Peanut Sauce, which I made for one of my mom’s rare sojourns to Brooklyn last year. Thanks to the peanuts, chilis, and lime, it has a slight Thai flavor, and the mixture of snow peas, broccoli, and peanut butter sauce gives it a moxy lacking in an average pasta primavera. Mom liked the dish, and that was good enough endorsement for me.

It was good enough for S, too. He went home full and un-poisoned, which is a main goal of mine nowadays. (Oh, also the cheap and healthy thing.) After the experience, I’m ready for other vegans now, as well. At the rate I meet them, though, that won’t be ‘til 2037.

On a side note, the more I see of Ellie, the more I like her. She’s knowledgeable, reliable, and soothing-er than a Sarah McLachlan record. It’s a nice counterpoint to Ray-Ray, Ingrid Hoffman, and The Banshee That Ate Paula Deen. Here’s hoping she never gets hit by the “Turn it Up to 11” flu.

Only the pricing info is included below, since Food.com so graciously provided nutritional listings.

P.S. #1: Reviewers on the Food Network site substituted all kinds of veggies and protein for the peas (which tend to be expensive) and broccoli. You can, too. The star of the recipe is the peanut sauce, so go nuts.

P.S. #2: I was worried at first, and we had side salads just in case, but this really did feed six people.

P.S. #3: Not all pasta brands and types are safe for vegans. Read the labels to make sure.

Aromatic Noodles with Lime-Peanut Sauce
Makes 6 servings (1 cup pasta, 1 cup veggies, 2.5 T sauce)
Adapted from Ellie Krieger.

3/4 pound spinach linguine or whole-wheat spaghetti
2 cups (about 9 ounces) broccoli florets
2 cups (about 6 ounces) snow peas, trimmed
2 cups (about 6 ounces) sugar snap peas, trimmed
1/2 cup natural creamy peanut butter
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 scallion, cut into pieces
3/4 inch fresh ginger, finely grated
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 cup shelled unsalted peanuts

1) Cook pasta in salted water until al dente. Drain, rinse with cold water to stop cooking process, and set aside.

2) While pasta is cooking, steam broccoli for 3 minutes in a medium saucepan fitted with a steamer basket. Add snow peas and sugar snap peas and steam for an additional 2 minutes. Remove from heat when finished.

3) Toast peanuts until fragrant, around 3 minutes. Set aside. Chop when cooled.

4) Combine peanut butter, soy sauce, water, vinegar, lime juice, scallion, ginger, sugar, and red pepper flakes in a food processor. Puree until smooth.

5) In a large serving bowl, mix pasta with 3/4 cup peanut sauce, stirring thoroughly to combine. Top with veggies and pour remaining sauce over everything. Serve with roasted peanuts on top.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
451 calories, 19 g fat, $1.58

Calculations
3/4 pound spinach linguine or whole-wheat spaghetti: $1.12
2 cups (about 9 ounces) broccoli florets: $0.99
2 cups (about 6 ounces) snow peas, trimmed: $1.60
2 cups (about 6 ounces) sugar snap peas, trimmed: $2.74
1/2 cup natural creamy peanut butter: $0.42
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce: $0.38
1/4 cup water: $0.00
2 tablespoons rice vinegar: $0.48
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice: $0.60
1 scallion, cut into pieces: $0.20
3/4 inch fresh ginger, finely grated: $0.20
2 tablespoons brown sugar: $0.06
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes: $0.01
1/2 cup shelled unsalted peanuts: $0.70
TOTAL: $9.50
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): $1.58

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Guest Post From Rachel, The CHG Gourmet: Italian White Bean and Spinach Soup

Because I am a dorkus with a penchant for glossy paper, I get some of the food rags delivered to casa de la CHG Gourmet. Among others, Gourmet, Bon Appetit and Food & Wine all grace my doorstep monthly. Yes, I know I’m killing trees, but there’s something really satisfying about gawking at pretty, shiny pictures and getting to dog-ear pages; I suppose this is what comes of not getting to read enough Tiger Beat as an adolescent.

Of all these mags, Cook’s Illustrated is my clear favorite. I’ll go one further: I have a full-blown crush on CI. If I could personify it, CI would be the unattainable, hunky, early-30’s professor who knows just about everything and totally gets you. On the other hand, Cooking Light would be the smart-but-underachieving annoying back-row slacker with an undiagnosed case of ADHD.

Since CL can be so hit-or-miss, I’m floored when the mag does something right—and *boy* did it do something right. The November issue boasts a feature with Alexandra Jamieson, she of the vegetarian cookery and the Morgan Spurlock wedlock. Man alive, can that woman cook. Case in point: her delicious foods helped Morgan regain his girlish figure after his month of bodily abuse, courtesy of Mickey D’s. (And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, rent Super Size Me right this instant. Go. Now. I’ll wait.)

Anyway, Alex is the very definition of CHG standards. She’s big on making flavor paramount, sacrificing fat, and proving that it can be done on a shoestring. In any event, that wily minx actually convinced me to try a CL recipe, and boy, am I glad I did.

Alexandra Jamieson’s Italian White Bean and Spinach Soup (adapted slightly for my pantry)
Makes 6 servings (serving size: 1 cup)
Adapted from Cooking Light.


1 1-oz. package of dried shiitake mushrooms [Note: Kris and I joined Coscto several years ago, and purchased a mammoth bag of dried shiitakes for next to nothing. This is a great use for those bulk buys.-Rachel]
2 cups boiling water
2 tsp. olive oil
1 cup chopped yellow onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
4 cups chopped fresh spinach, or 10-16 oz. of frozen chopped spinach
1 tsp. chopped fresh rosemary
¼ tsp. dried thyme
¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1 15.5 oz. can of cannelloni beans or Goya small white beans
14 oz. of organic vegetable broth
Kosher salt to taste

1) In a small bowl, mix mushrooms and boiling water. Cover and leave about 15 minutes. Drain mushrooms, reserving liquid. Once mushrooms are drained, chop them up and set aside.

2) In a large nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, garlic, and mushrooms. Cook 5 minutes, until onions are soft and mushrooms are tender. Add reserved mushroom juice, spinach, rosemary, thyme, black pepper, beans, and broth. Bring to a boil. Cover, turn heat to medium-low, and simmer about 10 minutes. Season with salt. Serve with thyme and a little red pepper.

Cooking Light’s Nutritional Breakdown:
CALORIES 78 (22% from fat); FAT 1.9g (sat 0.3g,mono 1.1g,poly 0.4g); PROTEIN 2.8g; CHOLESTEROL 0.0mg; CALCIUM 42mg; SODIUM 261mg; FIBER 2.9g; IRON 1.3mg; CARBOHYDRATE 13.5g

Approximate Calories, Fat, Weight Watchers Points Value, and Price per Serving
78 calories, 1.9 g fat, Points Value: 1

Calculations
1-oz. dried shiitake mushrooms: $0.58
2 tsp. olive oil: $0.06
1 cup chopped yellow onion: $0.20
2 garlic cloves, minced: $0.10
16 oz. of frozen chopped spinach: $1.49
1 tsp. chopped fresh rosemary: $0.25
¼ tsp. dried thyme: $0.05
¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper: $0.01
1 15.5 oz. can Goya small white beans: $0.69
14 oz. of organic vegetable broth: $0.30
Kosher salt to taste: $0.01
TOTAL: $3.74
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 78 calories, 1.9 g fat, about $0.62

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Passage to Indian Carrot Salad

It’s 2:29pm, three days after Christmas. I’m nursing a glass of water at home in Brooklyn, watching Emeril on Food Network, and going over my TO DO list before I go to India.

I’m going to India. I have to keep typing this because I don’t quite believe it yet, even though the plane leaves in 52 hours and 29 minutes. I’m not packed (next on the TO DO list), but I think everything else has been accomplished. The rent is paid, my Visa is all set up, and I’ve had more shots in the last month than most firing squad victims. I am immune to EVERYTHING, up to and including polio, rabies, and that weird virus that made everyone zombies in 28 Days Later.

I’ll be overseas until January 8th, and returning to blogdom on the 10th. In the meantime, Rachel the Cheap Healthy Gourmet has graciously agreed to fill in during my absence. (Read: she’s tied up in the basement with nothing but gruel and a laptop.) While I’m gasping in wonder at the Taj Mahal and trying desperately to avoid an exciting intestinal malaise, you’ll be treated to seven straight days of really, really good recipes and writing. Besides being the best roommate ever, Rach is also the best home cook I know, so I promise y’all are in good hands.

In celebration of the trip (paid for in part by months of hardcore food budgeting), I attempted an Indian Carrot Salad from The Food of India cookbook last night. It turned out okay, but would have been better if I hadn't messed with the directions so excessively. To wit: I added too much lemon juice, made a mustard substitution that didn’t work, and heated the oil to near-bubbling, all of which turned the carrots a little bitter. Ultimately, though it wasn’t terrible (and I’ll finish the dish), I do suggest following the exact measurements and instructions for best results. Which, like – duh.

That aside, I hope everyone’s New Year is ever-so-lovely, and I’ll see y’all again in two weeks. Whee!

P.S. All spices were purchased bulk from my local ethnic market, which is why the prices are so low.

Indian Carrot Salad
Serves 3
Adapted from The Food of India.

½ tablespoon oil (I used vegetable oil – Kris)
1/8 teaspoon black mustard seeds (I used Dijon mustard. Bad idea. – Kris)
1/8 teaspoon cumin seeds
pinch of ground turmeric
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon caster (superfine granulated) sugar
¾ tablespoon lemon juice
9 oz (about 3 large) carrots, finely grated
A few coriander (cilantro) leaves (I left this out – Kris)

1) In a small saucepan, heat oil over medium heat. Add mustard and cumin seeds. Cover pan. Shake until seeds begin popping.

2) Uncover pan. Add turmeric, salt, and sugar. Remove from heat and let cool for 5 minutes. Add lemon juice and stir. Add carrot and mix thoroughly. "Cover and leave for 30 minutes." If you like top with coriander/cilantro when served.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
57 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.26

Calculations
½ T oil: 62 calories, 7 g fat, $0.01
1/8 t black mustard seeds: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/8 t cumin seeds: negligible calories and fat, $0.05
pinch of ground turmeric: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/8 t salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
1/8 t caster (superfine granulated) sugar: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.01
¾ T lemon juice: 2 calories, 0 g fat, $0.20
9 oz (about 3 large) carrots, finely grated: 105 calories, 0.6 g fat, $0.45
TOTAL: 172 calories, 7.6 g fat, $0.77
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 57 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.26

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Lentil Soup: Friends, Romans, Christmasmen, Lentil Me Your Ear

(Apologies for the title. Punnerific!)

Just in time for the holidays, it’s the Christmasiest dish of all: Lentil Soup!

Okay, not really. While Lentil Soup doesn’t scream O Come All Ye Faithful, it is most definitely a meal for frigid December nights – a dense, stewy comfort food that may not be fancy enough to serve guests, but does just fine for on a random Wednesday.

Like every other food that's not pasta or chicken, I’m kind of new to lentils. They careened into my life during a braising class about a year ago, like some savory, wine-infused comet. Needless to say, Cabernet Sauvignon + veal stock + anything = highly satisfying, so my introduction was totally jolly and very bright. However, I do understand why some might have an aversion to lentils. Honestly, they’re kind of dry, and there’s only so much you can do to make ‘em kick. BUT, prepared with some flair (FLAIR!), they’re pretty palatable. Good, even.

This dish fits the flair bill. (The flair bill? Okay, I’ll go with it.) It’s an All Recipes special that starts with a rough mire poix and then simmers long enough to infuse everything with a gentle, savory flava.

Based on reviewer comments, I reduced the olive oil by half, opted for diced tomatoes, substituted chicken stock for half the water, and chose balsamic vinegar over red wine vinegar. They were all good suggestions, though I might cut back on the vinegar. It nearly overpowered the other flavors.

Based on my own preferences, I nixed the spinach called for in the original recipe. I’m raw spinach’s biggest fan, but the cooked stuff seriously grosses me out. I vividly remember accidentally biting into a diner spinach roll a few years ago and nearly spitting it back at my sister. She was not pleased, but – yick.

Also? I think I may have finally learned how to “salt and pepper to taste.” This is very exciting, since I formerly interpreted that particular direction as “salt and pepper until your tongue turns into a raisin.” My new understanding is that salt should be applied enough to highlight and strengthen a flavor, but not become a flavor in itself. Three cheers.
So - here it is. Hope you like it, and I'll be back late next week with new posts. Happy holidays!

Lentil Soup
Makes six large servings
Adapted from All Recipes.

1 onion, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 carrots, diced
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes
2 cups dry lentils
8 cups water (OR 4 cups water and 4 cups broth)
2 tablespoons vinegar
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

1) In a large pot or dutch oven, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions, carrots, and celery. Saute until onion is soft and tender, stirring occasionally. Add garlic, bay leaf, oregano, and basil. Saute another 2 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2) Add lentils. Stir. Add water and tomatoes. Stir again and bring to a boil. Once soup begins boiling, drop heat to medium-low and simmer for a minimum of 60 minutes.

3) When soup is just about done, stir in spinach and continue cooking until it wilts. Add vinegar. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve hot.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
356.5 calories, 7.2 g fat, $0.69

Calculations
1 onion, chopped: 46 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.15
2 tablespoons olive oil: 239 calories, 27 g fat, $0.16
2 carrots, diced: 50 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.20
2 stalks celery, chopped: 11 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.40
2 cloves garlic, minced: 9 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10
1 teaspoon dried oregano: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
1 bay leaf: negligible fat and calories, $0.03
1 teaspoon dried basil: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes: 82 calories, 0 g fat, $1.39 (ouch)
2 cups dry lentils: 1356 calories, 4.1 g fat, $0.48
4 cups water: negligible fat and calories, free
4 cups chicken stock: 346 calories, 11.5 g fat, $0.92
2 tablespoons vinegar: negligible fat and calories, $0.24
salt to taste: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
ground black pepper to taste: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
TOTAL: 2139 calories, 43.1 g fat, $4.15
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 356.5 calories, 7.2 g fat, $0.69

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Wacky Cakes and Crazy Ladies

While certain neighborhoods retain (and deserve) their reputation as somewhat less than pleasant, large chunks of Brooklyn have become safer than four out of five Disney World Lands. (Land of Tomorrow harboring dangerous criminals, of course.) Still, no matter where you live in the borough, sometimes you have to be on your guard. Sometimes at the supermarket.

The Boyfriend and I decided to bake 14 billion Christmas cookies this weekend, for use as gifts, potluck submissions, and building material. In order to accomplish this, we needed butter. Many, many pounds of butter. So, off to Key Food we sojourned, where we were greeted by The Loon, self-appointed Keeper of the Dairy Section.

Though she bore no indicative Key Food employee nametag, we first encountered The Loon applying random prices on boxes of Coffeemate. She turned her attention to us when I, knowing it would be half-price at checkout, procured only one of the Buy One Get One Free boxes of unsalted Hotel Bar quarters.

I was a good eight paces away when I heard “Miss, miss! You forgot your free butter!” I turned, thinking a kind worker was trying to save me a buck. The Loon took this opportunity to grab my arm and guide me back to butter section, where we proceeded to argue over the pricing process of major supermarkets. It went something like this:

ME: Ma’am, thank you, but I’m okay.
THE LOON: No honey, you ain’t. Take this. Put it in your freezer. Don’t you want your free butter?
ME: No, I’m okay. Thanks.
THE LOON (pushes butter in my hand): No, here take it. You want it.
ME: Thanks, no. They go on sale for this price about every three weeks. I have two at home. They’re on sale for the same cost at Pathmark.
THE LOON: No they ain’t.
ME: Yes they are.
THE LOON: No they ain’t.
ME: Yes they are.
THE LOON: No they ain’t.
ME: Yes they … I gotta go.
THE LOON: Okay, lady. Whatever. (Puts butter back angrily.)
ME (ideally): Crazypants, I’ve written all about this particular subject for the last seven months. I keep a price book and shop here every week. You, on the other hand, are killing time hugging milk cartons and putting price stickers on your hat. Thanks, but you’re wrong and I’m good.
ME (actually): Thanks, though. (Scuttles away)

In retrospect, I’m glad the butter wasn’t shoved in my eye socket. And I’m super-glad that when The Boyfriend and I checked out, The Loon was being yelled at by a group of managers for unlawful use of a price gun.

This recipe, then, is dedicated to her. It’s Wacky Cake, a delightful vegan chocolate confection with no eggs, no milk, and most importantly, no butter. It was suggested by commenter Sally, and comes from the extraordinarily nifty Where’s the Revolution Blog. (If you’re a vegetarian, vegan, omnivore, carnivore, or harbor an unnatural obsession with tempeh, head on over.) The batter took about five minutes to come together, and cost a quarter to $0.50 less than most store-bought mixes. Top it off with powdered sugar and serve it for your favorite lunatic today!

Wacky Cake
12 delicious slices
Adapted from Where's the Revolution?

1-1/2 cups minus 1 TB unbleached all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1/3 cup canola oil
1 cup icy cold water
powdered sugar for garnish, optional

1) Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease an 8x8-inch square pan or a 9-inch pie pan.

2) In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, cocoa, baking soda, and salt. Then, make three wells or indentations in that mixture. Pour vanilla into the first, vinegar into the second, and oil into the third. Douse everything with cold water and stir until all ingredients are just barely combined/moist.

3) Pour mixture into prepared pan. Bake for 25 or 30 minutes, "or until it springs back when touched lightly."

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price Per Serving
178 calories, 6.6 g fat, $0.09

Calculations
1 1/2 cups minus 1 TB unbleached all-purpose flour: 654 calories, 1.8 g fat, $0.08
1 cup sugar: 774 calories, 0 g fat, $0.33
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa: 49 calories, 3 g fat, $0.32
1 teaspoon baking soda: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
1/2 teaspoon salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
1 teaspoon vanilla: 12 calories, 0 g fat, $0.13
1 tablespoon white vinegar: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.03
1/3 cup canola oil: 640 calories, 74,7 g fat, $0.20
1 cup icy cold water: negligible calories and fat, $0.00
powdered sugar for garnish, optional
TOTAL: 2132 calories, 79.5 g fat, $1.12
PER SERVING (TOTAL/12): 178 calories, 6.6 g fat, $0.09

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Fast Food Done Good: Garlicky Broccoli Rabe

It always strikes me as fishy when famous cooks claim they can whip up a ten-course, gourmet-caliber meal in 30 seconds or less. It seems to go against the whole idea that effort produces a proportional result. I’m all for convenience, especially on a weeknight, but yeah – I wonder if truly great dishes must have truly great amounts of time invested in them.

Then, days like Sunday happen and mess me up.

See, I was looking for a side dish to go with Cooking Light's Butternut Squash, Rosemary, and Garlic Lasagna. The lasagna had taken me approximately 4,000 years to make, and I wasn’t up for another mammoth exertion, so its accompaniment had to be easy and ready instantaneously. A quick search brought me to Cooking Light’s Garlicky Broccoli Rabe, which had six cheap ingredients and a 10-minute cooking time. Jumanji!

With the rabe sautéed and the lasagna sufficiently settled, The Boyfriend, me, and two large glasses of Sauvignon Blanc sat for a cozy pre-winter meal. The lasagna, though fairly tasty, disintegrated into noodles and cream almost instantaneously. It was more like thick pasta with white sauce and a few chunks of butternut squash. (The leftovers weren’t great, either. There's still half left five days later.)

The rabe, though? THAT was a keeper. With a touch of heat, just the right amount of bitterness, and all that garlicky scrumptiousness, it was quickly nominated for regular rotation.

So, what do I take away from this experience?

1) I’m wrong a lot.
2) Nope, that’s it.

Cooking Light was (as always) gracious enough to provide calories and fat, so only the price is calculated below.

Garlicky Broccoli Rabe
3 servings – ½ cup each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

1 pound broccoli rabe (rapini), trimmed
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper

1) Fill a medium bowl with cold water and a couple of ice cubes. Set aside.

2) In a medium saucepan, bring a few cups of water to a boil. Add broccoli rabe and boil about 6 minutes, until it's crisp, but tender. Drain and quickly add broccoli rabe to ice bath. Drain again and chop into bite-sized pieces.

3) In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add garlic and cook until fragrant (about 30 seconds to 1 minute), stirring frequently. Add broccoli rabe, salt, and peppers and warm through, stirring occasionally. Serve hot.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
67 calories, 2.3 g fat, $0.38

Calculations
1 pounds broccoli rabe (rapini), trimmed: $0.99
1/2 tablespoon olive oil: $0.04
1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced: $0.05
1/4 teaspoon salt: $0.01
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper: $0.02
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper: $0.02
TOTAL: $1.13
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): $0.38

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The Man Who Ate a Parsnip: Lidia Bastianich's Roasted Root Vegetables

My brother E is an enormous dude. Six feet, three inches tall, he snacks on snow tires and whole goats. His feet hang over the edges of most stairs, but only when he can cram his mile-wide shoulders into the stairwell in the first place. When E’s annoyed with our sister L, he doesn’t yell. He simply picks her up, throws her over his shoulder, and deposits her on the soft cushion of his choosing. It’s a subtle reminder that he's bigger than Russia, and just as capable of maintaining his ground when challenged by smaller, yappier foes.

E didn’t become four times my size by eating bean sprouts and tofu burgers. No, he’s the product of red meat and white starch. I shudder to think of his cholesterol level, but as long as he’s moving Volkswagon Beetles with his bare hands, I won’t question it. (Partly out of politeness and goodwill, but mostly so he doesn't tie my arms in a pretzel.)

Last year, to go with my sister’s Christmas lasagna, I made Lidia Bastianich’s Roasted Root Vegetables. Garlicky and hearty, they’re a good compliment to meat (both lean and not-so-lean), and a nice alternative to heavy, fatty foods like said lasagna. I was excited to serve a Lidia dish to my fam, and was utterly convinced E would pass up every other option for its rooty goodness.

Needless to say, E went straight for the lasagna.

BUT he also took a heaping helping of root veggies. Lo and behold, he kinda liked them, too. He must have. The man ate a leek, dangit! He even wolfed down a parsnip, without having any idea what it was. It was a Christmas miracle.

In the end, E will never be nominated for Veggie Lover of the Year (unless it applies to pizza toppings), but he’s okay with this recipe. It makes me wonder if eggplant, broccoli rabe, or fennel could be in his future. A sister can dream, can’t she?

(Note: The leeks were by far the most expensive items, and there’s a LOT of waste, but the leaves can be saved for chicken stock. In fact, I used ‘em for that very reason last night! BAM!)

Roasted Root Vegetables
Makes 6 gigantic servings
Adapted from Lidia Bastianich.

3 medium leeks (about 10 ounces)
2 large parsnips (about 8 ounces), peeled and cut into 3-inch pieces
3 large carrots (about 8 ounces), peeled and cut into 3-inch pieces
2 large, outer celery stalks, trimmed and cut into 3-inch pieces
6 small red or white new potatoes (about 3/4 pounds), cut in half
3 small yellow onions (about 6 ounces pound), peeled and cut in half through the core
20 large garlic cloves, peeled
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 sprigs rosemary
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

1) Preheat oven 400°F. Line a large roasting pan or cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Spray with cooking spray.

2) Chop the darker green stems off the leeks. (Discard or save for broth making.) Cut the remaining white parts in half from top to bottom. Cut off the root ends, "leaving enough of the root core intact to hold the leek halves together." Rinse thoroughly in cold water, making sure you get all the dirt out from between the leaves. (This is very, very important.)

3) In a huge bowl, combine all veggies, garlic, oil, and rosemary. Salt and pepper liberally to taste. Stir thoroughly to combine. Spread everything out in a single layer on the prepared pan. (Note: you may need two.) Roast about 60 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the veggies are browned and tender. Serve hot.

Note: Parsnips can be very thick at the top, and very thin at the bottom. If this is the case with yours, slice the thicker parts into slimmer pieces. This will ensure even cooking.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
200 calories, 7.3 g fat, $0.92

Calculations
3 medium leeks: 163 calories, 0.8 g fat, $1.50
8 oz parsnips: 170 calories, 0.7 g fat, $1.29
3 large carrots: 89 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.30
2 large, outer celery stalks: 17 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.40
¾ pound small red potatoes: 245 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.75
6 ounces yellow onion: 72 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.20
20 large garlic cloves: 89 calories, 0.3 g fat, $0.60
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil: 358 calories, 40.5 g fat, $0.24
2 sprigs rosemary: negligible fat and calories, $0.20
Salt and freshly ground black pepper: negligible fat and calories, $0.03
TOTAL: 1203 calories, 7.3 g fat. 43.6 g fat, $5.51
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 200 calories, 7. 3 g fat, $0.92

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Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Teriyaki and Cilantro: An Exercise in Duh

When I write recipe posts, I usually allot myself about a week to research a dish, see what I have on hand, and give it a shot. This way, if something goes horribly awry, I have a little time to make something else. This was one of those weeks.

Initially, this post was going to be all about the awesome, world-redefining Gnocchi with Mushroom and Thyme Sauce I made last Monday. Sadly, the meal was far from awesome, and not even in the same zip code as world-redefining. The sauce (which wasn’t terrible) had its earthy appeal beaten down by the world’s worst frozen potato dumplings. (Silver Star brand, 16oz bags on sale for $1. DON’T DO IT.) Their gummy grossness was like the recent movies of John Travolta: bland, insulting, and with not enough Samuel L. Jackson. It's back to handmade gnocchi for me.

Instead of dwelling on that UTTER FAILURE OF GOOD SENSE, I moved on, settling on a backup recipe: Spicy Eggplant Puree from the Enchanted Broccoli Forest Cookbook. Thinking it would be another fabulous veggie dip, I whipped up a batch and served it to beloved guests, who were kind of "meh" about it. The puree was uninspiring at best, watery and relatively flavorless at worst. If you’re looking for an eggplant dip, CHG’s baba ghanouj is way better, if I do say so myself (and I do).

Out of options and running out of time, I settled on an old favorite o’ mine: Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Teriyaki and Cilantro. Sweet and salty, it’s another choice Weight Watchers recipe, and further proof they’ve moved way beyond the Cabbage Casseroles Czarinas and Chilled Celery Logs of the old school. (Speaking of which, if you’ve never seen Weight Watchers Recipes from 1974, GO NOW. You won’t be disappointed.)

Unfortunately, the potatoes were inadvertently incinerated.

I left them in the oven a few minutes too long, and each would-be delectable piece was burned just enough to make the dish totally inedible. Instead of robust, rich orange wedges, my yams looked like tanned, wrinkled old man fingers. Tragedy. BUT, I'm going to go ahead and post the recipe anyway (with no picture - too traumatic) because I’ve made this four or five times without any problems.

Please believe me - these turn out nicely. And Friday? I will post a recipe so tongue-pleasing, even the tongueless will cry with joy.

Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Teriyaki and Cilantro
Makes 4 servings
Adapted from Weight Watchers.

6 T (about 1/3 cup) teriyaki sauce
3 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into ½-in. chunks
6 T (about 1/3 cup) fresh cilantro
Cooking spray

1) Heat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with tin foil and spray with cooking spray.

2) In a medium bowl, combine teriyaki sauce and cilantro. Pour in sweet potatoes and stir to coat.

3) Place sweet potatoes on the prepped cookie sheet and roast 35 or 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. For the love of Pete, do not overcook.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
152 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.82

Calculations
6 T teriyaki sauce: 120 calories, 0 g fat, $0.45
2 large sweet potatoes: 486 calories, 0.7 g fat, $1.65
6 T (about 1/3 cup) fresh cilantro: 2 calorie, 0 g fat, $0.68
Cooking spray: negligible fat and calories, $0.05
TOTAL: 608 calories, 0.7 g fat, $3.28
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 152 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.82

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The Boyfriend, Miso Soup, and Giving Thanks

Instead of listing 5,000 different recipes for cranberry sauce or waxing poetic about perfectly seasoned stuffing (I’ll leave that to the experts), for this pre-Thanksgiving post, I’m gonna chronicle what I’m grateful for this year. Here goes:

• Family, friends, and good health
• Road trips
• Paying off college
• Becoming a slightly better cook
• The blogging dealie (good times and neat people)
• Alton Brown
• The Office (Now in reruns. Give the writers their due, dangit!)
• The failure of the Bratz movie
• This year’s lack of smarmy, gloating Yankee fans
• Johnny Depp’s 20th consecutive year on the “Dudes I’d Smooch” list (A record!)
• New Arcade Fire AND Radiohead albums
• No new Creed albums
• Our apartment not burning down when that weird socket thing happened
• My Cabbage Patch Kid's 23rd birthday (Mah little girl’s growin’ up!)
• The Boyfriend

In regard to that last one, I'm a pretty smitten kitten. TB and I have been co-habitating for almost five months now (dating for 18), and the gloppy loveyness grows everyday. (You may stop reading now to vomit.) What’s more, he’s totally obliterated my long-held theory that I unconsciously seek men who can’t cook. Blessedly, he knows a pot from a pan, the definition of “simmer,” and all how to tell if jambalaya is going to suck or rule.

Years ago, when TB was living alone in Queens, still months away from the Spain trip that would effectively end his vegetarianism, he cooked regularly for himself. This miso soup was a menu mainstay. Oh, there are glammed-up versions out there that aren’t quite as spartan, but his four ingredient concoction gets the job done (hardcore). It’s runs about a third of the price of what a Japanese restaurant would serve, to boot.

Anysways, he's a good egg, and I'm thankful he's around - for the miso soup, happy times, and otherwise.

(Side note: I could have bought the tofu for about a dollar cheaper, saving a quarter off each bowl. Alas, I lack forethought and should be whippened.)

The Boyfriend’s Bare Bones Miso Soup
4 servings – 1 cup each

4 cups water
¼ cup white miso paste (we used Shiro miso – Kris)
About 7 or 8 oz soft tofu, cut in 1/3” cubes (we used Nasoya – Kris)
2 green onions, sliced diagonally into ¼” pieces

1) Bring water to a boil.

2) Drop in green onions and tofu, and boil for 4 or 5 minutes (stirring lightly on occasion so tofu doesn’t stick to bottom.)

3) Drop in ¼ cup miso paste and stir until dissolved.

4) Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
85 calories, 3.1 g fat, $0.87

Calculations
4 cups water: negligible calories and fat, $0.00
¼ cup miso paste: 159 calories, 4.8 g fat, $0.49
About 7 or 8 oz soft tofu: 165 calories, 7.5 g fat, $1.50
2 green onions: 16 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.70
TOTAL: 340 calories, 12.4 g fat, $2.69
PER SERVING: (TOTAL/4): 85 calories, 3.1 g fat, $0.87

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Lollappleooza Day 1: Ma’s Chunky Applesauce

One week.

Two people.

69 apples. (Hee. 69.)

Let the games begin!

As mentioned last week, today officially kicks off Lollappleooza, CHG’s week-long celebration of autumn’s, uh, reddest fruit. In its honor, I’m starting with one of my all-time favorite recipes: my Ma’s applesauce.

Now, Ma’s not a four-star chef, but she knows her way around a stove. And when it comes to her specialties (applesauce, sweet potato casserole, lasagna, and Christmas cookies), no one dares cross her. Partially because the dishes are hard to top, and partially because she might stab you. (*stares weepily at scar from Snickerdoodle Incident*)

Over the years, Ma’s applesauce has become a Thanksgiving fixture, ranking only below Pa’s stuffing on the Must Eat list. She spices it just right and goes easy on the brown sugar, since she’s fully aware that apples stand fine on their own. (Um, don’t challenge her on this. Again with the stabbing.) Plus, she doesn’t puree it (thank jeebus), just goes to town with the potato masher, leaving us with a chunky, funky-in-a-good-way compliment to Alton Brown’s Roast Turkey.

So, make Ma happy. Next time you're feeling like a quick sauce, a kiddie side, or even a topping for pork or chicken, give it a try. I promise - no stabbing.

Ma’s Chunky Applesauce
Make 3 cups – ½ cup each serving

9 medium MacIntosh or Cortland apples, peeled, cored, and chopped into chunks
2 T water
3 T unpacked brown sugar
Cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice to taste

1) Heat everything in a pot or dutch oven on medium for 30 minutes or until apples are mushy. Stir occasionally.

2) When time is up, mash to desired consistency with potato masher. Serve hot or cold.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
90 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.45

Calculations
9 medium apples: 540 calories, 1.4 g fat, $2.61
2 T water: negligible calories and fat, FREE
3 T unpacked brown sugar: 102 calories, 0 g fat $0.08
Cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice to taste: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 542 calories, 1.4 g fat, $2.70
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 90 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.45

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Lollappleooza Preview: All Night Apple Butter

Spurred by the changing of the leaves and a temporary onset of insanity, The Boyfriend and I (along with every four-year-old in Brooklyn) went apple picking last weekend. We spent two hours in the 85°F "autumn," and came home with head colds and almost six dozen pieces of fruit. Since there was no way we were going to finish them one by one (the apples, not the head colds), I had to start cooking. Fast.

Thus, Lollappleooza was born.

(Yay! Plays on words!)

Kicking off October 15th, Lollappleooza will be a five day hootenanny of apple recipes, links, and frugality strategies. It will be the ultimate apple guide, a convergence of the finest apple-related frippery the blogosphere has to offer. It will also help me use up 69 apples.

Which, speaking of…

Shortly after arriving home, I found AllRecipes’ All Day Apple Butter, which needs its title changed to Why You Should Always Read the Reviews Butter. The recipe called for five pounds of apples aided and abetted by a staggering four cups of sugar. Yoinks. Most AllRecipe commentors agreed this gave the spread a lollipop-like sweetness, much too cloying for the average bear. A bunch ended up cutting the sugar in half, to way better results. Increasing the spices and extending the crock potting time were suggested, too, and both turned out to be really good calls.

I followed all the advice, and in the end, my version was still sweet, but not gag-inducingly so. The apples shone through, and the cinnamon and cloves made it much kickier than store-bought apple butters. Though I might tone the sugar down even more next time, I’d happily spread this on toast or pumpkin bread. I might even lick it off my fingers. I would definitely do everything in this Chowhound thread.

P.S. Don’t forget! Lollappleooza starts Monday! I promise you won't need tickets, and don’t have to join Greenpeace (unless you want to). Hope to see you there.

All Night Apple Butter
Makes 2-1/2 cups or 40 Tablespoons
Adapted from All Recipes.

2-3/4 lbs MacIntosh or Cortland apples (about 10 medium), peeled, cored, and chopped into tiny pieces
Scant 2/3rd cup unpacked brown sugar
Scant 2/3rd cup granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Heaping 1/8th teaspoon cloves
1/4th teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/8th teaspoon salt

1) Combine dry ingredients in a bowl. Mix well.

2) Pour all ingredients into 3-1/2 qt. slow cooker. Mix well.

3) Cook on high for 1 hour. Stir. Mash slightly with potato masher.

4) Cook on low 9-12 hours. Stir. Mash with potato masher.

5) Cook an additional 2 hours with cover off. Stir. Mash with potato masher to desired consistency.

6) Leave overnight in the fridge for optimum taste.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
37 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10

Calculations
2-3/4 lbs apples: 600 calories, 1.6 g fat, $2.90
Scant 2/3rd cup unpacked brown sugar: 364 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
Scant 2/3rd cup granulated white sugar: 511 calories, 0 g fat, $0.21
Heaping 1 teaspoon cinnamon: negligible fat and calories, $0.03
Heaping 1/8th teaspoon cloves: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
¼ teaspoon pumpkin pie spice: negligible fat and calories, $0.02
1/8th teaspoon salt: negligible fat and calories, $0.01
TOTAL: 1475 calories, 1.6 g fat, $3.80
PER SERVING (TOTAL/40): 37 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10

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Chili-Spiced Potatoes: They’re Like Candy

Many years ago, over a pleasant Christmas dinner with cousins, my large, low-voiced Uncle J quietly uttered this bon mot, apropos of nothing: “Potatoes. They’re like candy.” At the time we fell silent, and maybe nodded. Today, it’s an oft-repeated familial adage, especially when the Irish-y starch appears on a holiday menu. (Which, really, is every holiday.)

I was reminiscing over the incident last week when a shocking realization hit me: this blog has run for two-and-a-half months without a potato recipe.

Subsequently, I can no longer shame my Celtic kin, disgrace my County Mayo ancestors, and bring dishonor to the country that makes up 1/4th of my origin. Today, by the power of my pale, befreckled Gaelic roots, I present: CHILI-SPICED POTATOES. (You’re fáilte.)

Adapted from a Kathleen Daelemans recipe, these spuds work best as a smoky, slightly salty, low-fat alternative to curly fries. Chock full of tuberiffic flavor, you can adjust the spice to your preference and prepare the rest of your meal while it’s roasting dans l’oven, too.

What’s more, the potatoes seem to appeal to all ages. I recently served them to my friend C’s daughter J, a notoriously picky eater whose diet formerly consisted of breast milk and soggy Cheerios. After scarfing down the first serving, she kept asking for more.

Which just goes to show: potatoes. They’re like candy.

Chili-Spiced Potatoes
Serves 3
Adapted from Kathleen Daelemans.

5 or 6 small red potatoes, washed and cut into ¾” pieces
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
Black pepper
½ Tablespoon olive oil

1) Turn oven to 350 degrees.

2) Stick all ingredients in a bowl. Stir thoroughly, so each potato is coated with stuff.

3) Run a finger over a potato, to ensure you like the level of spicery and salt. If you don’t, add more. (Go easy on the salt, though, or they’ll end up inedible.)

4) Spread everything on to a cookie sheet. (No overlapping.)

4) Bake for 30 minutes, then flip potatoes and turn oven up to 450 degrees.

5) Bake for 15 more minutes, or until outside is crispy golden brown. (Test one to make sure they’re done, but this timing worked for me.)

6) Let cool and serve.

Approximate Calorie, Fat, and Price Per Serving
244 calories, 2.77 g fat, $0.41

Calculations
5 or 6 medium-small red potatoes: 673 calories, 1.3 g fat, $1.09
1 teaspoon chili powder: negligible calories and fat, $0.04
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.03
Black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
½ Tablespoon olive oil: 60 calories, 7 g fat, $0.04
TOTAL: 733 calories, 8.3 g fat, $1.22
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 244 calories, 2.77 g fat, $0.41 `

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Broiled Eggplant Japonaise: Brutti Ma Buoni

If there was ever a case for not judging a book by its terrfiyingly scalded cover, Broiled Eggplant Japonaise is it. DAMN, this is good. Traumatizingly ugly, but good.

When I say “ugly,” I don’t mean “slightly unattractive," “aesthetically challenged,” or “appearance deficient.” I mean “Chinese crested dog mated with an Orc.”

I mean “the August 22nd Rangers-Orioles game.” (NOTE: This is a baseball score.)

I mean “all the clothes on Go Fug Yourself, but especially this Chloe Sevigny hat.”

I mean "the political prospects of closeted Idaho senator Larry Craig."

In other words, Serious Eats was not kidding when it compared this dish to a bowl of slugs.

Yet, if you can get past the hideous, hideous façade, it's a pleasant surprise – a filling, easily prepared, vegetarian-friendly meal with honest-to-goodness Asian flavor. For health/availability reasons I cut the oil by a third and used a large regular eggplant. Still, damn tasty.

Behold, if you dare...

Broiled Eggplant Japonaise
3 servings
Adapted from Serious Eats/Jacques Pepin.

2 tablespoons Canola oil
1 gigantic eggplant
1 clove garlic, minced
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
Salt

1) Turn on your broiler and cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Cut the stem ends off your eggplant. Proceed slicing the eggplant into long strips, each about 1/2-inch in thickness. Drizzle the oil on the cookie sheet and mix it around with the eggplant. Sprinkle with a little salt. Broil for about 4 or 5 minutes per side, until eggplant is tender.

3) While eggplant is cooking, mix garlic, soy sauce, sugar, and tabasco sauce in a large bowl.

4) Once eggplant is finished, throw into the bowl with the marinade and toss gently, so eggplant is covered. Serve.

Approximate Calorie, Fat, and Price Per Serving
181 calories, 9.9 g fat, $0.57

Calculations
2 tablespoons Canola oil: 248 calories, 28 g fat, $0.08
1 gigantic eggplant: 230 calories, 1.8 g fat, $1.39
1 clove garlic: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.05
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce: 13 calories, 0 g fat, $0.14
1 teaspoon sugar: 46 calories, 0 g fat, $0.01
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco sauce: negligible calories and fat, $0.03
Salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 542 calories, 29.8 g fat, $1.72
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 181 calories, 9.9 g fat, $0.57

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Baba Ghanouj and Tyler, Too

Growing up with two working parents and a pair of ravenous, athletic siblings, food never lasted very long. Leftovers were scarfed up within hours, and the idea of marinating or marrying flavors overnight was totally unheard of, if not outright heretical. That’s why chilis, soups, dips - really any dish that takes time to meld – still amaze me. Where in the olden days, I’d ask, “Why are you letting this go bad?,” I’m now fascinated by the slow development of flavor, as if the universe just needed a little more time to perfect its offering.

This baba ghanouj is like that.

Upon its immediate pour from the food processor, it tasted like ... how to put this delicately … mealworm poop. Mushy and a tad bitter, it was nothing I’d serve to guests, much less eat myself. Not wanting to waste all that eggplant, I shoved the bowl in the fridge and forgot about it.

While preparing lunch the next morning, I stuck a finger in (sanitary, right?), hoping it had improved during its 10-hour crisper drawer internment. It had. And how.

Like magic, the formerly inedible dip had morphed into a smooth, complex mound of tastiness that maybe just needed a little more salt and cayenne. I could picture it spread across a pita or a Ritz, maybe with a little tomato on the side and a nice glass of wine. Still marveling over its Tina Turner-caliber comeback, I packed a heap with my lunch and took off, wondering happily if the baba ghanouj would ameliorate for all infinity.

P.S. I cut the olive oil in half, added more salt and cayenne at the end, and used ¼ cup of leftover fresh parsley for a little extra flavor.

Simply Recipes / Field of Greens Baba Ghanouj (with changes)
6 servings – heaping ½ cup each
Adapted from Simply Recipes and Field of Greens.

2 globe eggplants (about 2 lbs)
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 Tbsp roasted tahini (sesame paste)
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
Juice of one lemon - about 2 1/2 tablespoons
3/4 teaspoon salt
Cayenne pepper
¼ cup chopped parsley

1) Preheat oven to 375°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Slice eggplant in half lengthwise. Brush cut surfaces with a little olive oil. Place on cookie sheet, cut side down. Roast about 35 minutes or until extremely tender, which you can tell by testing it with a knife. Drain eggplant for 15 minutes in a colander, then scrape meat out of the skin.

3) Dump eggplant, 1 tablespoon olive oil, tahini, garlic, cumin, 2 tablespoons lemon juice, salt, and a dash o' cayenne into a food processor. Pulse a few times. The dip should smooth out a bit, but there should still be chunks of eggplant.

4) Let the dip sit overnight in the fridge. Before serving, season to taste with lemon juice, salt, and red pepper. Gently stir in parsley. Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
120.5 calories, 8 g fat, $0.64

Calculations
2 globe eggplants (about 2 lbs): 264 calories, 2 g fat, $2.19
2 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil: 240 calories, 28 g. fat, $0.16
2 Tbsp roasted tahini (sesame paste): 190 calories, 18 g fat, $0.25
1 garlic clove, finely chopped: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.05
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin: negligible calories and fat, $0.05
Juice of one lemon: 24 calories, 0 g fat, $0.34
3/4 teaspoon salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
Cayenne pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
¼ cup chopped parsley: negligible calories and fat, $0.75
TOTAL: 723 calories, 48 g fat, $3.83
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 120.5 calories, 8 g fat, $0.64

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Lightening Up Lidia's Tomato Sauce: An Exercise in Almost

Sometimes the snow comes out in June.
Sometimes the sun goes ‘round the moon.
Sometimes, a healthier version of a beloved dish doesn’t work as planned.
Sometimes, I wish I was a ma … never mind.

This week, as promised, I tried to lighten up Lidia Bastianich’s recipe for tomato sauce. The full-fat version is a favorite of my taste buds, and highly recommended to people of all genders, ethnicities, faiths, phylum, genus, and species.

The half-fat version ... not so much.

While definitely pretty good, it didn’t quite live up to oily wonder of the original. If I made it again (which wouldn’t happen until 2025, since I quadrupled the recipe for freezing purposes), I’d add more salt, take out a bay leaf or two, and use less celery and carrots. The celery, in particular, was very strong in my rendition, and threatened to (but didn’t quite) overwhelm the tomato.

Again, it wasn’t bad, but if you’re okay with the fat content (roughly 10g per serving), I’d suggest cooking the sauce regularly, as god and Lidia intended. If you’d still like a lighter adaptation, this version from Cooking Light is aces.

Light Lidia Bastianich Tomato Sauce
23 servings - ½ cup each
Adapted from Lidia Bastianich.

4 35-ounce cans of peeled Italian tomatoes, seeded and lightly crushed, with their liquid
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 large onion, chopped (about 2 cups)
1 cup finely shredded peeled carrots
1 cup finely chopped celery (including leaves)
4 dried bay leaves
Salt
Crushed red pepper

1) Either push the tomatoes through a food mill (fine disc attachment) or crush them with your hands into a large bowl.

2) In a huge pot or large dutch oven, heat the oil over medium. Add onion and cook about 3 minutes or until a little soft, stirring occasionally. Add carrots and celery. Cook about 10 more minutes, stirring occasionally.

3) Pour tomatoes into the pot. Add bay leaves and bring to a boil. Season to your taste with salt and red pepper. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until it reaches a thick consistency. This should take about 45 minutes or so, but you can go longer if you like a thicker sauce. Take out bay leaves and season to taste.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
86 calories, 5 g. fat, $0.35

Calculations
4 35 ounce cans of peeled Italian tomatoes: 800 calories, 0 g. fat, $6.00
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil: 960 calories, 112 g. fat, $0.64
1 large onion: 140 calories, 0 g. fat, $0.38
1 cup carrots: 50 calories, 0 g. fat, $0.30
1 cup celery: 20 calories, 0 g. fat, $0.50
4 dried bay leaves: negligible calories and fat, $0.15
Salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.04
Crushed red pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.15
TOTAL: 1970 calories, 112 g. fat, $8.16
PER SERVING (TOTAL/23): 86 calories, 5 g. fat, $0.35

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The Quiet Mastery of Sara Moulton: Pasta with Broccoli and Chickpeas

I’ve been leaning a bit heavily on the Food Network lately, but I find lots of their dishes strike a nice balance between AllRecipes and Epicurious. They’re not laden with lard (Paula Deen’s excepted), most aren’t terribly complicated (Mario Batali’s excepted), and it’s easy to navigate around Sandra Lee concoctions (Kwanzaa cake excepted. It must be studied so history never duplicates its lunacy.)

Though she’s not on-air anymore (reruns excepted), Sara Moulton is a good example why the site is so valuable. Her food is a lot like her personality: competent, comforting, and quietly, wickedly neat. Simple, filling, and tasty as all get out, Orecchiette (er, Macaroni) with Broccoli and Chickpeas is a good example of her virtuosity.

This is 1-1/2 times the original recipe (but with ½ the olive oil), since I don’t like having half-cans of chickpeas or diced tomatoes lying around. I use everything but the cheese, too, since I can’t justify a buying a hunk of romano right now. As an added bonus, the dish tastes great cold, and is a godsend for lunch the next day.

Sara Moulton’s Orecchiette (er, Macaroni) with Broccoli and Chickpeas
4 servings - 1-3/4 cups each
Adapted from Sara Moulton.

1 14.5 oz. can chickpeas, drained
1-1/2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
1 Tbsp salt, plus more to taste
1-1/2 generous cup broccoli florets
6 ounces orecchiette or elbow macaroni
6 tablespoons minced yellow onion, optional
1-1/2 tablespoon minced garlic
3/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes, optional
1 14.5 oz. can diced plum tomatoes, optional
Freshly ground black pepper
Grated pecorino, for serving, optional

1) In a small bowl, stir chickpeas with a tiny bit of olive oil. Let sit.

2) Fill a medium bowl with cold water and a few ice cubes. Set aside.

2) Get out a large pot, add water, and bring to a boil. Add salt. Add broccoli and cook about 4 minutes, until it's crisp-tender, but not soft. Pick up broccoli with tongs or a slotted spoon and drop into ice bath. After a few minutes, drain the ice bath and set broccoli aside.

3) While broccoli is cooling, add pasta to still-boiling pot of broccoli water and cook. When finished, drain pasta and set aside.

4) Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large skillet (nonstick, if you can) over medium heat. If using onion, add it and cook about 8 minutes, until soft. Add garlic, pepper flakes, and chickpeas and cook until heated, about 2 minutes. Add tomatoes and broccoli and warm through. Salt and pepper to taste.

4) Add pasta and it to the broccoli-tomato mixture and heat through. Serve sprinkled with pecorino.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
324 calories, 7.8 g fat, $0.93

Calculations
1 14.5 oz. can chickpeas, drained: 350 calories, 7 g fat, $0.50
1-1/2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil: 180 calories, 21 g fat, $0.12
1 Tbsp salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.06
1-1/2 generous cups broccoli florets or broccoli rabe: 30 calories, 0 g fat, $1.20
6 ounces orecchiette (I sub in macaroni): 630 calories, 3 g fat, $0.19
6 tablespoons minced yellow onion: 15 calories, 0 g fat, $0.13
1-1/2 tablespoon minced garlic: 15 calories, 0 g fat, $0.15
3/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes: negligible calories and fat, $0.15
1 14.5 oz. can diced canned plum tomatoes: 75 calories, 0 g fat, $1.19
Freshly ground black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 1295 calories, 31 g fat, $3.70
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 324 calories, 7.8 g fat, $0.93
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