Parsley Shallot Sauce: The Glory of Green

My apologies for the last couple of days, dear readers. I’ve been horribly delinquent with the blog due to a combination of Easter, work, and trying to pick up “Lost” in its fourth season. (Note: not a good idea. Every 15 minutes or so an event transpires where The Boyfriend yells, “AUUUUGH! NO WAY!” and it’s like, a guy mopping or something. He assures me that it has gigantic meaning in the context of the series, but … mopping. Yeah.)

Anyway, we were down in Virginia this past weekend to visit his family/play Throw the Rock with his gobsmackingly adorable nephew. (Seriously, this kid makes Suri Cruise look like the Elephant Man.) ‘Twas a lovely time, as it’s a lovely place, and they’re lovely people (also: cutthroat card players). And while there were many highlights, my favorite was a conversation with a local three-year-old, during which I learned the following:

1) “The Eastew Bunny was heah last night.”
2) “I have DIAWHHEA.”
3) “Diawwhea HUWTS.”

Too true, kid. Too true.

All the festivities kept me from cooking anything, much less anything resembling health food. Fortunately, I had a banked recipe in my back pocket for just such an occasion. (Note: not literally. A back pocket full of recipes would be silly, not to mention hard to sit on.)

A few weeks ago, The Boyfriend and I were experimenting with pork. We made Ellie Krieger’s Herb Roasted Pork Loin with Parsley Shallot Sauce twice, and both times, the roast was unbearably dry. It was a shame, because the Parsley Shallot Sauce was really, really, really fargin’ good. So good, in fact, we both ate it with a spoon afterward. And usually it’s just me doing that.

Two pig-based meals later, we finally got the cooking methods and temperatures down for the pork (seen here). Alas, we had moved on to other toppings. Well – now, Parsley Shallot Sauce gets its due. The recipe is listed below in all its green majesty, awaiting your roast. I promise, at the very least, it will not give you diawhhea. Because that would huwt.

(Oh yeah - please note that I only made a third of a batch [listed here] because it’s just TB and I eating. The proportions on Ellie’s site are designed to serve a much larger crowd.)

Parsley Shallot Sauce
Makes 3 servings (good enough for a 1-lb roast)
Adapted from Ellie Krieger.

1/2 cups lightly packed flat-leaf parsley leaves
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped shallot
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons water
2/3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/16 teaspoon salt
Freshly ground black pepper

1) Add all ingredients to a blender. Puree until pretty smooth. Serve over pork, as prepared here. 

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
38 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.44

Calculations
1/2 cups lightly packed flat-leaf parsley leaves: 11 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.66
2 teaspoons coarsely chopped shallot: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.25
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard: 15 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil: 79 calories, 8.9 g fat, $0.06
2 teaspoons water: negligible calories and fat, free
2/3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice: 3 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
1/16 teaspoon salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
Freshly ground black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 113 calories, 14.1 g fat, $1.33
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 38 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.44

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Broccoli with Indian Spiced Yogurt

For the last nine months, The Boyfriend’s been a willing, enthusiastic participant in about eight zillion semi-dastardly culinary experiments. He’s slurped down 15 tons of pasta and eaten more chicken than ten armies should have to. He’s had pictures taken of almost every dinner for a year (“Honey – don’t eat that yet. I need better lighting.”). He’s done dishes upon dishes upon dishes with nary a frustrated peep.

Yet, if he likes a meal and I’m not too crazy about it, I don’t include it on this site. I feel bad about this, but it stops today. This week I made Jamie Oliver’s Broccoli Drizzled with Indian-Spiced Yogurt. I liked it okay. He loved it. Thus, here goes.

But first, a few notes:

Note #1: I only made a third of the suggested recipe because I was cooking for two. Measurements for the whole shebang can be found through the link.

Note #2: I changed the yogurt into low-fat yogurt, and it worked great.

Note #3: My spices came from the Turkish place around the corner, which is why they’re wicked cheap.

Broccoli Drizzled with Indian-Spiced Yogurt
Makes 2 side servings
Adapted from Jamie Oliver.

10 oz broccoli crowns (about 2 small), broken into florets
1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
2/3 tsp each: cumin seeds, fennel seeds
Seeds from 2 cardamom pods
1/3 cup plain low-fat yogurt
Zest and juice of 1/3 lemon
Kosher salt and black pepper

1) Bring a big pot of salted water to a boil. Add broccoli and boil for 4 minutes or so. Drain very well. (A salad spinner might come in handy here.)

2) In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add broccoli. Cook about 5 minutes, until veggies are "lightly charred," stirring occasionally. Move to a plate.

3) While broccoli is cooking, heat a small skillet over medium-high heat. Add cumin, fennel, and cardamom and toast "until browned and fragrant, 3 to 4 minutes." Grind, using a mortar and pestle, spice grinder, or coffee grinder.

4) Add 3/4 cumin mixture, all the lemon juice, and all the lemon zest to yogurt. Stir. Salt and pepper to taste.

5) Drizzle yogurt mixture over broccoli. Garnish with the last 1/4 of the cumin mixture.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
92 calories, 3.6 g fat, $0.71

Calculations
10 oz broccoli crowns (about 2 small), broken into florets: 80 calories, 1 g fat, $0.66
1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil: 39 calories, 4.5 g fat, $0.03
2/3 tsp each: cumin seeds, fennel seeds: 10 calories, 0.5 g fat, $0.20
Seeds from 2 cardamom pods: negligible calories and fat, $0.10
1/3 cup plain low-fat yogurt: 51 calories, 1.3 g fat, $0.23
Zest and juice of 1/3 lemon: 4 calories, 0 g fat, $0.17
Kosher salt and black pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 184 calories, 7.3 g fat, $1.41
PER SERVING (TOTAL/2): 92 calories, 3.6 g fat, $0.71

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White Tang: Cooking Light's Creamy Caesar Dressing

[Apologies to the estate of Jack London for the punny title. Ultimately, it won out over “The Call of the White-ld (Dressing).”]

Having attended approximately 48,344 weddings in the last ten years, I’ve had my fair share of Caesar salads. (And penne a la vodka.) (And chicken francese.) (And “Butterfly Kisses,” which is not a food, but rather the most overplayed, maudlin piece of treacle in the entire history of music. I barf on Bob Carlisle.)

Where was I? Oh yeah – Caesar salad. I’ve consumed many, and few have stuck out as anything more than “meh.” I’m not sure if that’s the nature of the dish (“It’s a Caesar salad. Whadja want, Lobster Thermidore?”), or subpar efforts on behalf of 98% of the food service industry. Too many restaurants and catering halls seem to believe that limp romaine + stale croutons + $0.99 bottled dressing = culinary tour de force.

I call fie on this. (Fie!) A good Caesar salad requires glorious parmesan, a sophisticated lemony-olive oil flavor, and dressing that doesn’t taste like the backwash of the damned.

Cooking Light’s Creamy Caesar Dressing takes care of that last requirement quite nicely. With a ten-minute prep time and a short list of readily available ingredients, it's a quick complement to a classy salad base. At $0.11 per serving, it's comparable to nicer bottled dressings in price, though the taste is fresher and way livelier. Two notes:

1) Tangy doesn’t begin to describe, so feel free to reduce the lemon juice a tad.

2) I used low-fat yogurt instead of the fat-free variety, and it worked fine.

Cooking Light graciously provided the nutritional information, so only price calculations are included below.

Creamy Caesar Dressing
Makes 8 servings of 1 tablespoon each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

1/3 cup plain fat-free yogurt
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon anchovy paste
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1 garlic clove, minced

1) Whisk all ingredients together in a small bowl. Pour on salad. That's it.

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price per Serving
26 calories, 1.8 g fat, $0.11

Calculations
1/3 cup plain fat-free yogurt: $0.23
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice: $0.25
1 tablespoon olive oil: $0.08
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar: $0.05
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce: $0.10
1 teaspoon anchovy paste: $0.12
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard: $0.06
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper: $0.02
1 garlic clove, minced: $0.02
TOTAL: $0.88
PER SERVING (TOTAL/8): $0.11

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Roasted Red Pepper, Artichoke, Olive and Parmesan Frittata: Hello, Gorgeous

I’m way excited about today’s frittata recipe for two reasons:

1. We made it twice this weekend. Saturday’s version was the experiment, and calling it unidentifiable would be an act of charity. But after a few spot-on adjustments (if I do say so mahself), Sunday’s frittata looked and tasted like briny, eggy victory.
2. My food pictures are halfway decent, meaning they don’t look like they were taken by a blind man at the bottom of a well.

The beauty of homemade frittatas (besides their actual beauty – seriously, scroll down and look at that thing) are their speed and price, especially compared to restaurant versions. Those babies will run you $7 to $12, not to mention the cost and time of transportation. What’s more, besides “Sheboygan,” “photosynthesis,” and “googly,” “frittata” is one of the most fun English-language words to say over and over again out loud (until someone hits you in the head with a hammer).

This particular frittata is a reduced-fat mutant hybrid of a Health.com dish, Alton Brown’s basic recipe, and my personal taste. It’s substantial without being heavy, and the combo of peppers, artichokes, and olives brings a quasi-Mediterranean flavor that The Boyfriend and I really dug. If you’re adamantly opposed to any of the vegetables, various others can be substituted in super-easily. In fact, Cooking Light has about 35 different frittatas that beg for a few games of mix-and-match.

One possible caveat: there will be plenty of leftover ingredients after the frittata is finished. I don't see this as a drawback, though. Pourquoi? Well, paired with a head of lettuce, they’ll make six killer salads. Slapped between six pieces of toast, they’re three salivation-worthy sandwiches. Grouped with six more eggs, they're another frittata. Or, maybe? If you’re feeling saucy, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating the unused red peppers and olives with your bare hands, taking care to slurp your fingers to the bone afterward.

Before you commence lickery, however, take a gander at these pictures. They're the closest I might ever come to Pioneer Woman and Smitten Kitchen, and they're giving me a weird welling-up sensation. I think it might be pride. (Insert "No, it's definitely gas" joke here.)

Roasted Red Pepper, Artichoke, Olive and Parmesan Frittata
Serves 4
Adapted from Health.com and Alton Brown.

4 large eggs
2 large egg whites
¼ cup grated parmesan cheese
salt and pepper
½ Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
1 cup minced onion
1 roasted red pepper, chopped
2 canned artichoke hearts, chopped into eight pieces each
1 T chopped fresh parsley
8 kalamata olives, sliced

1) Preheat your broiler.

2) Whisk eggs, parmesan, and salt and pepper to taste together in a small bowl.

3) Heat oil over medium-high heat in a medium-sized oven-proof pan. Add onion and cook about 3 minutes, until translucent. While this is happening, pat down the red peppers, artichoke hearts and olives with a paper towel to remove some of the moisture.

4) Turn heat down to medium and add eggs. Without stirring, let eggs set for about 3 minutes.

5) When sides of frittata start to set (they’ll begin pulling away from the pan), sprinkle roasted red pepper, artichoke hearts, parsley, and olives evenly on top. Cook for about 2 or 3 minutes more, until the top just starts to set.

6) Transfer pan to broiler and cook until top becomes light golden brown. This should take about 3 minutes, but check after 2 since broilers are different the world over.

7) Using a potholder, remove pan from broiler and set on top of stove. Loosen frittata with spatula immediately (otherwise it will continue to cook), being careful not to tear the eggs. Plate and eat.

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price per Serving
159.5 calories, 10.1 g fat, $0.81

Calculations
4 large eggs: 294 calories, 19.9 g fat, $0.60
2 large egg whites: 34 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.30
¼ cup grated parmesan cheese: 86 calories, 5.7 g fat, $0.52
salt and pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
½ Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil: 60 calories, 7 g fat, $0.04
1 cup minced onion: 48 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.15
1 roasted red pepper, chopped: 31 calories, 0.4. g fat, $0.49
2 canned artichoke hearts, chopped into eight pieces each: 13 calories, 0 g fat, $0.60
1 T chopped fresh parsley: negligible calories and fat, $0.25
8 kalamata olives, sliced: 72 calories, 7.2 g fat, $0.25
TOTAL: 638 calories, 40.4 g fat, $3.22
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 159.5 calories, 10.1 g fat, $0.81

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CI’s Orange-Sesame Stir-Fry Sauce: Just When I Thought I Was Out

Right before my senior year of college, I successfully executed my very first stir-fry for my friends J and B. Thinking back, I’m sure it was fairly basic: bottled marinade, some peppers, an onion, and probably some chicken. Yet, I was SO proud. Embarrassingly proud. Prouder than I was at my actual graduation. (And I had three majors! But one was Communication, which is kind of like majoring in T.V. and Beer. Anyway…)

Nowadays, I still rely on stir-fry when time is tight and ingredients are low. They’re incredibly quick, infinitely protean, and skimping on oil doesn’t make a crazy difference in the taste. Their one drawback is the cost of semi-decent sauces. The cheap ones are full of high fructose corn syrup and preservatives. The expensive ones are … well, expensive.

Enter Cook’s Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe, a cookbook I swore to back away from for awhile. (I lied.) On page 102, the editors have a five-recipe list of stir-fry sauces you can make from everyday kitchen staples. A few weeks ago, I highlighted the Sweet and Sour variety (also good for dipping!) Last night, I tried the Orange Sesame, which shall henceforth be called “Awesome Sauce,” a la Tenacious D.

Here’s how it went: first, I steamed 2/3rd cup broccoli in a shallow pan for about 4 minutes, until they were crisp-tender. (The water had evaporated, so there was no need to drain.) Then, over medium heat, I added a ¼ teaspoon of sesame oil and sautéed ¼ teaspoon of grated ginger and ¼ teaspoon of minced garlic for about 30 seconds. Finally, a ¼ cup of Awesome Sauce went in. It took about three minutes to thicken, but when it did …

So. Good.

My apartment still smells like a high-class Chinese joint, which is very different from the coffee-and-dust scent it usually sports. The Boyfriend gave Awesome Sauce a wide-eyed “Mm!” of approval as well, and it’s definitely on the short list for V-Day this Thursday. Plus? One serving costs a grand total of $0.19. I’m over the moon.

In the coming weeks, I’ll really, honest-to-goodness attempt to put the CI book down (even though we tried the Cold Sesame Noodles with Shredded Chicken, and it, too, transcends mere food). So, you can expect recipes from other places. Like …

Or maybe …

And then there’s …

Okay. No promises.

Orange-Sesame Stir-Fry Sauce
Makes enough for 4 servings of stir-fry (1 lb protein + 1-1/2 lbs vegetables)
Adapted from Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe.

½ cup orange juice
¼ cup soy sauce
¼ cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil (I used regular sesame oil and it worked well. – Kris)
2 teaspoons cornstarch

1) Mix all ingredients. In a bowl. Thoroughly. With a whisk, if you like. Add it towards the end of any stir-fry and heat to thicken. You won't be sorry.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
53 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.19

Calculations
½ cup orange juice: 55 calories, 0 g fat, $0.16
¼ cup soy sauce: 34 calories, 0 g fat, $0.38
¼ cup low-sodium chicken broth: 22 calories, 0.75 g fat, $0.06
2 teaspoons toasted (or regular – Kris) sesame oil: 80 calories, 9 g fat, $0.12
2 teaspoons cornstarch: 20 calories, 0 g fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 211 calories, 9.75 g fat, $0.74
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 53 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.19

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Barefoot Contessa’s Orange Yogurt: Marry Me, Ina

One quick note before today’s recipe: reader Zac made a great point in the comment section about yesterday’s plastic container tip. If you do save these guys, it’s best not to microwave/heat them up. That kind of material isn’t intended for high temperatures, and can either A) melt, or B) leak weird chemicals into your food. With that …

My love for Ina Garten is boundless and well-documented. Someday, I imagine snatching her from graying, intellectual Jeffrey and whisking her away to Brooklyn, where her quality Hamptonian cuisine would nourish and enlighten all the borough’s hungry denizens. Alas, Ina-napping is at least illegal, and at most bad for getting into heaven, so no dice. But in lieu of her actual presence, I can keep making her food.

Today’s recipe is the very last listed in the Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, and easily missed among the Outrageous Brownies and Banana Crunch Muffins. It’s a simple Orange Yogurt, made tastier by the additions of honey, vanilla, golden raisins, walnuts and freshly squeezed juice. As with all Ina’s stuff, it’s pleasant, different and uncomplicated. If you can work a spoon, you can make this dish. (If you can’t work a spoon … maybe take lessons?)

A few points if you decide to take the plunge:

1) Wash the orange since it’s being zested. Otherwise, it’s Funky Aftertaste City, population: you.

2) There are a billion permutations for this thing and ingredients can be swapped out as you like. Food.com reviewers have some suggestions.

3) If you have a choice between generic yogurt and something slightly more upscale, I’d go with option #2. I’m finding our supermarket brand, while passable, isn’t necessarily conducive to meal quality.

4) Ms. Garten suggests using low-fat instead of fat-free yogurt. I used fat-free, because I’m contrary trying to lose a few pounds.

5) I had NO IDEA draining yogurt would produce that much liquid. I halved the recipe and still pulled out nearly a cup of water. Crazy. My roommate M was hilariously repulsed.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to attend to the crazy guy in front of my apartment who’s been yelling at a tree for the last five minutes. (This is not a joke.) Ahh … Brooklyn.

(Ina, get here FAST.)

Orange Yogurt
Makes 4 servings at about 2/3rd cup each
Adapted from Barefoot Contessa.

4 cups (2 pints) plain yogurt (I used fat-free, so calcs are for that. – Kris)
1/4 cup raisins
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup good honey
1 orange, zest grated
1/2 to 1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
Orange, orange zest, raisins and walnuts, for garnish (optional)

1) Adjust a small sieve or wire colander so it's hanging over a bowl. Line it with a paper towel or two (or cheesecloth, if you have it). Dump yogurt in sieve and refrigerate for at least 3 hours. It should drain, producing a surprising amount of yogurt water. Discard the yogurt water.

2) In a medium bowl, gently stir yogurt, raisins, walnuts, vanilla, honey, and orange zest together. If it's too thick, a little orange juice will make it less so. Top with orange, zest, raisins, or walnuts. Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat and Price per Serving
291.5 calories, 5.1 g fat, $1.07

Calculations
4 cups (2 pints) plain yogurt (I used fat-free. – Kris): 508 calories, 1.6 g fat, $2.00
1/4 cup raisins: 109 calories, 0.2 g fat, $0.45
1/4 cup chopped walnuts: 193 calories, 18.4 g fat, $0.58
1 1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract: 18 calories, 0 g fat, $0.06
1/4 cup good honey: 258 calories, 0 g fat, $0.72
1 orange, zest grated: negligible calories and fat, free (comes with the orange)
1/2 to 1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice: 80 calories, 0.4 g fat, $0.50
Garnish (optional): negligible calories and fat, (comes with the orange)
TOTAL: 1166 calories, 20.6 g fat, $4.31
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 291.5 calories, 5.1 g fat, $1.07

(Ina photo courtesy of foodieobsessed.com.)

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Polenta: The Movie Trailer

Our trailer opens in space, with the sun rising over the Earth. At first, we only hear NARRATOR’S voice. It’s that guy who does all the previews.

NARRATOR: In a world … where your staples … are always rice and potatoes … (and sometimes couscous) … comes a side dish … that no one considered … and only one man … can bring it home …

We cut to an urban kitchen, where young KRIS is freaking out over what to pair with Chicken Provencal.

KRIS: Nooooo! (slams counter) I don’t know what to serve with this. My starches all seem so … boring. Isn’t there anyone who can help me? Anyone? (begins to weep)

Cook's Illustrated guru Christopher Kimball flies in through the kitchen window. He looks like Superman, but skinnier and slightly dorkier. Oh, also - the bowtie.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: Never fear, young…ish lady. It is I, Cook’s Illustrated guru Christopher Kimball! I will take your meal back to my secret Test Kitchen Headquarters, analyze it, and devise a solution!

KRIS: (blowing nose) Oh, thank you, Christopher Kimball! But how long *SNOOORRF* will this take you? Seriously, I’ve got to put dinner on the table sometime tonight.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: Uh … 10 minutes?

KRIS: Great!

We see CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL leaping out the window and flying speedily over every conceivable landscape.

NARRATOR: With the pressure … of dinner upon him … can Christopher Kimball … find the answer … and make it back … to Kris’ Brooklyn Kitchen … in time?

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL lands at Test Kitchen Headquarters, and is immediately accompanied by NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY. We see them furiously mixing dozens of ingredients, stirring hundreds of bowls, and licking innumerable spoons.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: DANGIT! Won’t this ever come together? We’re running out of time!

NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY: I know, Christopher. (gazes longingly) Oh, how I know.

A frantic cooking montage begins.

NARRATOR: With the weight of the world … let me rephrase that … with the weight of dinner … upon him … Christopher Kimball must reconsider … everything he holds dear …

End montage. CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL and NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY are sitting on the floor of Test Kitchen Headquarters, covered in flour and looking defeated.

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL: All these years in the kitchen. So many meals. So many expertly executed dinners. Nondescript Chopping Lady, I just … don’t know. We're doomed.

NONDESCRIPT CHOPPING LADY: What about polenta?

CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL and NONDESCRIPT SHOPPING LADY meet eyes, hold their stare for a second, and then turn to the camera. Our picture fades to black. The title graphics for “Polenta: The Movie” appear onscreen.

NARRATOR: Polenta. The Movie. When the chips are down, the corn comes out. Coming this Fall.

-fini-

(Quick end note: I’m finding Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe tends to make serving sizes on the large side. This polenta could spread itself to five or six people, especially if you have kids. I did calculations for both four and six servings, just like last weeks Chicken Provencal, to be safe.)

Cook’s Illustrated Quick Polenta
Serves 4
Adapted from Cook's Illustrated Best 30-Minute Recipe.

4 cups water
1 cup instant polenta
2 T unsalted butter
¼ c grated Parmesan cheese

1) Throw out the polenta box (removing polenta first). Don't even look at the directions.

2) In a large pan over medium-high heat, bring water and 1 teaspoon salt to a simmer. Very, very slowly stir polenta into water. Drop heat to low. Cover and cook about 5 minutes, until polenta gets a smooth texture, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and uncover. Add butter and cheese. Stir until well-mixed. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve but quick.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
4 servings: 199 calories, 8 g fat, $0.42
6 servings: 132.5, 5 g fat, $0.28

Calculations
4 cups water: negligible calories and fat, FREE
1 cup instant polenta: 505 calories, 2.3 g fat, $0.99
2 T unsalted butter: 204 calories, 23 g fat, $0.19
¼ c grated Parmesan cheese: 86 calories, 5.7 g fat, $0.52
TOTAL: 795 calories, 31 g fat, $1.69
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 199 calories, 8 g fat, $0.42
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 132.5 calories, 5 g fat, $0.28

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Fast Food Done Good: Garlicky Broccoli Rabe

It always strikes me as fishy when famous cooks claim they can whip up a ten-course, gourmet-caliber meal in 30 seconds or less. It seems to go against the whole idea that effort produces a proportional result. I’m all for convenience, especially on a weeknight, but yeah – I wonder if truly great dishes must have truly great amounts of time invested in them.

Then, days like Sunday happen and mess me up.

See, I was looking for a side dish to go with Cooking Light's Butternut Squash, Rosemary, and Garlic Lasagna. The lasagna had taken me approximately 4,000 years to make, and I wasn’t up for another mammoth exertion, so its accompaniment had to be easy and ready instantaneously. A quick search brought me to Cooking Light’s Garlicky Broccoli Rabe, which had six cheap ingredients and a 10-minute cooking time. Jumanji!

With the rabe sautéed and the lasagna sufficiently settled, The Boyfriend, me, and two large glasses of Sauvignon Blanc sat for a cozy pre-winter meal. The lasagna, though fairly tasty, disintegrated into noodles and cream almost instantaneously. It was more like thick pasta with white sauce and a few chunks of butternut squash. (The leftovers weren’t great, either. There's still half left five days later.)

The rabe, though? THAT was a keeper. With a touch of heat, just the right amount of bitterness, and all that garlicky scrumptiousness, it was quickly nominated for regular rotation.

So, what do I take away from this experience?

1) I’m wrong a lot.
2) Nope, that’s it.

Cooking Light was (as always) gracious enough to provide calories and fat, so only the price is calculated below.

Garlicky Broccoli Rabe
3 servings – ½ cup each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

1 pound broccoli rabe (rapini), trimmed
1/2 tablespoon olive oil
1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper

1) Fill a medium bowl with cold water and a couple of ice cubes. Set aside.

2) In a medium saucepan, bring a few cups of water to a boil. Add broccoli rabe and boil about 6 minutes, until it's crisp, but tender. Drain and quickly add broccoli rabe to ice bath. Drain again and chop into bite-sized pieces.

3) In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add garlic and cook until fragrant (about 30 seconds to 1 minute), stirring frequently. Add broccoli rabe, salt, and peppers and warm through, stirring occasionally. Serve hot.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
67 calories, 2.3 g fat, $0.38

Calculations
1 pounds broccoli rabe (rapini), trimmed: $0.99
1/2 tablespoon olive oil: $0.04
1 large garlic cloves, thinly sliced: $0.05
1/4 teaspoon salt: $0.01
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper: $0.02
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper: $0.02
TOTAL: $1.13
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): $0.38

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Mm-mm Good: Egg Drop Soup

In college, when money seemed trivial and our appetites were never-ending, my roommates and I ate a LOT of Chinese food. We’d file into the Main Street restaurant, place our orders with the brilliant 10-year-old girl behind the counter (definitely a future Nobel Laureate), and settle down for heaping mounds of Sesame Chicken and Fried Rice. In retrospect, I’m not sure how our metabolisms kept up. Maybe they didn’t. Maybe that’s why my butt reached epic proportions after graduation.

Nowadays, ordering Chinese food is a different ball of wax for me. It’s one of the rare takeout experiences during which I can score giant containers of healthy eats for a few bucks. Steamed vegetables and meats, brown rice, a wide array of soups and sauces – places like Wo Hop and Dah Lee have it all, and the food’s made right there, to boot. Bonus.

Yet! Yet. I’ve found there are a few dishes that can be duplicated at home for less money. In the case of this All Recipes Egg Drop Soup, it saves about ten cents a pint off the cost. That doesn’t sound like much, but consider:

-You don’t have to tip a delivery man.
-It takes less time than ten minutes.
-All the ingredients are guaranteed fresh.
-You can alter it to your liking.
-There’s less waste.
-Taste-wise, it’s comparable to any restaurant.

Not bad for what looks like a pot of water and eggs, huh? I suggest pairing it with Light Chinese Chicken and Broccoli for a grand ol’ time.

AllRecipes graciously calculated the fat and calories, so only the price is added below. I should add that this isn't my picture. I forgot to take one (duh), so this is from Flickr.

Egg Drop Soup
4 servings, about 1 cup each
Adapted from All Recipes.

4 cups chicken broth, divided
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives or scallions
1/4 teaspoon salt
1-1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 eggs
1 egg yolk

1) In large saucepan, combine 3-1/4 cups chicken broth, salt, ginger, and chives. Bring to a boil.

2) In a small bowl, combine remaining broth and cornstarch. Set aside.

2) In a different small bowl, whisk eggs and yolk together. Very slowly, drizzle egg into boiling broth. (It will cook instantaneously.) When all the egg is gone, slowly whisk in the cornstarch mixture, until the soup hits your preferred consistency. Serve hot.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
94 calories, 5.8 g fat, $0.45

Calculations
4 cups chicken broth: $0.92
1/8 teaspoon ground ginger: $0.01
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives (I used green onions): $0.35
1/4 teaspoon salt: $0.01
1-1/2 tablespoons cornstarch: $0.03
2 eggs: $0.34
1 egg yolk: $0.16
TOTAL: $1.82
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): $0.45

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The Boyfriend, Miso Soup, and Giving Thanks

Instead of listing 5,000 different recipes for cranberry sauce or waxing poetic about perfectly seasoned stuffing (I’ll leave that to the experts), for this pre-Thanksgiving post, I’m gonna chronicle what I’m grateful for this year. Here goes:

• Family, friends, and good health
• Road trips
• Paying off college
• Becoming a slightly better cook
• The blogging dealie (good times and neat people)
• Alton Brown
• The Office (Now in reruns. Give the writers their due, dangit!)
• The failure of the Bratz movie
• This year’s lack of smarmy, gloating Yankee fans
• Johnny Depp’s 20th consecutive year on the “Dudes I’d Smooch” list (A record!)
• New Arcade Fire AND Radiohead albums
• No new Creed albums
• Our apartment not burning down when that weird socket thing happened
• My Cabbage Patch Kid's 23rd birthday (Mah little girl’s growin’ up!)
• The Boyfriend

In regard to that last one, I'm a pretty smitten kitten. TB and I have been co-habitating for almost five months now (dating for 18), and the gloppy loveyness grows everyday. (You may stop reading now to vomit.) What’s more, he’s totally obliterated my long-held theory that I unconsciously seek men who can’t cook. Blessedly, he knows a pot from a pan, the definition of “simmer,” and all how to tell if jambalaya is going to suck or rule.

Years ago, when TB was living alone in Queens, still months away from the Spain trip that would effectively end his vegetarianism, he cooked regularly for himself. This miso soup was a menu mainstay. Oh, there are glammed-up versions out there that aren’t quite as spartan, but his four ingredient concoction gets the job done (hardcore). It’s runs about a third of the price of what a Japanese restaurant would serve, to boot.

Anysways, he's a good egg, and I'm thankful he's around - for the miso soup, happy times, and otherwise.

(Side note: I could have bought the tofu for about a dollar cheaper, saving a quarter off each bowl. Alas, I lack forethought and should be whippened.)

The Boyfriend’s Bare Bones Miso Soup
4 servings – 1 cup each

4 cups water
¼ cup white miso paste (we used Shiro miso – Kris)
About 7 or 8 oz soft tofu, cut in 1/3” cubes (we used Nasoya – Kris)
2 green onions, sliced diagonally into ¼” pieces

1) Bring water to a boil.

2) Drop in green onions and tofu, and boil for 4 or 5 minutes (stirring lightly on occasion so tofu doesn’t stick to bottom.)

3) Drop in ¼ cup miso paste and stir until dissolved.

4) Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
85 calories, 3.1 g fat, $0.87

Calculations
4 cups water: negligible calories and fat, $0.00
¼ cup miso paste: 159 calories, 4.8 g fat, $0.49
About 7 or 8 oz soft tofu: 165 calories, 7.5 g fat, $1.50
2 green onions: 16 calories, 0.1 g fat, $0.70
TOTAL: 340 calories, 12.4 g fat, $2.69
PER SERVING: (TOTAL/4): 85 calories, 3.1 g fat, $0.87

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Oh, My Sweet Lassi

In the two years following college, I lived semi-large with three ladyfriends in a medium-sized Brooklyn apartment. We had starter jobs, very little money, and an unnatural obsession with singing Jock Jams in Ross Perot voices. (Try it! It's fun.) We were also not very interested in cooking, except for K.

Born in upstate New York, K was the only one who actually used our pots and pans. She bought things like “produce,” and “dairy products.” A few times, she whipped up this Saltine-butter-chocolate dessert that I can’t even think of without salivating all over my desk. (Seriously, Saltines? Who knew they didn’t have to taste like drywall?) One of her favorite concoctions, which I had never heard of at the time, and now order/make at every opportunity, was the lassi.

Essentially a thick Indian yogurt drink, lassis are intended to calm taste buds during a spicy meal. But, much like its fruity cousin the mango lassi, the sweet lassi is also delicious on its own.

While there were a bazillion options online, the recipe attached below is adapted from the Whole Foods website. It seemed simple enough, and turned out well. Only changes: I used low-fat yogurt and cut out the rosewater, since, uh, I don’t know what it is or where to find it. (I will rectify this situation for next time.)

Nowadays, K is married to a wonderfully awesome dude, who I am sure is benefiting from her years of experience and experiments. I wish I had appreciated it more when we were roomies. (Besides the Saltine thing. I appreciated that constantly.)

P.S. Just to clarify - this is NOT a milkshake. It is a yogurt drink. If you do not like yogurt, you will vomit profusely.

Sweet Lassi
Serves 2 (12 oz each) or 3 (8 oz each)
Adapted from Whole Foods.

2 cups plain lowfat yogurt
1/2 cup cold water
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
6 ice cubes

1) Blend yogurt, water, sugar, and cardamom together until smooth. Add ice cubes and blend again, until mixture is smooth. Serve cold.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
2 servings: 248 calories, 3.8 g fat, $0.65
3 servings: 165 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.43

Calculations
2 cups plain lowfat yogurt: 309 calories, 7.6 g fat, $1.15
1/2 cup cold water: negligible fat and calories, $0.00
1/4 cup sugar: 186 calories, 0 g fat, $0.06
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom: negligible fat and calories, $0.08
6 ice cubes: negligible fat and calories, $0.00
TOTAL: 495 calories, 7.6 g fat, $1.29
PER SERVING (TOTAL/2): 248 calories, 3.8 g fat, $0.65
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 165 calories, 2.5 g fat, $0.43

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Puree Madness: Seinfeld vs. Chase Lapine. (Also, Roasted Asparagus.)

Did anyone catch Jerry Seinfeld on Letterman the other night? He was defending his wife Jessica against charges of “vegetable plagiarism.” CNN has a rundown, but here’s a quick summary: earlier this month, Mrs. Seinfeld published an Oprah-endorsed cookbook about hiding vegetable puree in kid-friendly foods. Missy Chase Lapine (a.k.a. the Sneaky Chef) released a similar cookbook in April, and was perturbed by the apparent appropriation of her idea. Jerry, ticked by the accusations leveled against Mrs. Seinfeld, fired back on Late Show in response. He was inexcusably mean.

Frankly, the whole debacle seems silly to me, not least because secret purees are a terrible message for kids in the first place. (“Hey, Johnny! You never have to learn to eat healthily! We’ll just stick some peas in a cookie, and everything will be great! Also – don't ever work hard. It won’t get you anywhere.”)

But.

Imagine if Jerry had done a standup routine, only to find a 25-year-old telling near-identical jokes a week later. How would he react? My guess is anger, then dismissal. That’s probably happened to him tons of times.

What if that same kid was making millions off those bits? Even if he claimed he had never heard of Jerry Seinfeld, I have a feeling lawyers would be involved, but quick.

Cooking is a lot like comedy that way. There's no real Intellectual Property Law in either. So, no matter how wonderfully original you think your joke or recipe might be, if Patton Oswalt or Wylie Dufresne beat you to it, you drop the subject and/or credit them profusely. Otherwise, it's hacky. Letting go is honorable, and it’s what Jessica Seinfeld should have done.

What about her defense? Well, maybe puree-ing has been around since God said, "hola!" to Moses. Maybe her puree-based cookbook was totally her own idea, and she didn’t think one existed beforehand (...right). Maybe her recipes are phenomenal, and she deserves a special place in heaven as St. Peter’s personal sous chef. But once she realized someone had put out a nearly identical tome six months prior, she should have backed off the Look-What-I-Created-I’m-a-Genius angle (which, I saw her Oprah appearance, and … yeah.), if not the whole project entirely.

So, before siding with the Seinfelds, think of where Missy Chase Lapine is coming from. She might not believe her idea was stolen (just cribbed). She might think she ought to be given credit for a cooking method she basically put on the map. She might think a little-known author to has no chance in hell against an Oprah-and-Letterman-backed star’s wife with millions of dollars behind her. She DOES have every reason to complain, and Jerry Seinfeld should know better than to rag on someone who has zero way of defending herself.

(For a slightly more profane, gloriously to-the-point analysis of the situation, check the Onion.)

(For a long, gloriously drawn-out analysis, there's Jezebel.)

That said, uh – LOOK! ASPARAGUS! Whee! I’ll keep this super-short since I’ve written a novel-and-a-half already.

Roasted Asparagus with Balsamic Brown Butter has an astronomical rating from Cooking Light, and is one of the only CL sides I’ve seen to receive more than 100 reviews. We tried it last week with some chicken, and it went beautifully. I halved the recipe since it’s just the Boyfriend and I, and once again, Cooking Light provided the nutritional information, so the calculations aren’t listed here. The price – that’s another story.

Roasted Asparagus with Balsamic Browned Butter
4 servings – 5 spears each
Adapted from Cooking Light.

20 asparagus spears, trimmed (about 1 pound)
Cooking spray
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
1/16 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon low-sodium soy sauce
½ teaspoon balsamic vinegar

1) Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray.

2) Place asparagus on cookie sheet in a single layer. Spray with cooking spray or olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Roast for about 12 minutes, until tender.

3) While asparagus is cooking, cook butter in a small pan over medium heat until lightly browned, about 3 minutes, occasionally stirring or shaking pan. Kill heat. Add soy sauce and vinegar. Stir. Pour over asparagus, "tossing well to coat." Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price per Serving
45 calories, 3 g fat, $0.39

Calculations
20 asparagus spears, trimmed (about 1 pound): $1.76
Cooking spray: $0.03
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt: $0.01
1/16 teaspoon black pepper: $0.01
1 tablespoons butter: $0.09
1 teaspoons low-sodium soy sauce: $0.03
½ teaspoon balsamic vinegar: $0.02
TOTAL: $1.95
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): $0.39

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Easy Peasy: Nigella Lawson's Easy Pea Soup

(Before we get started with today's recipe - a happy, happy "hi" to y'all coming over from Meredith's blog, Like Merchant Ships. She was extremely generous with her linkage, and for that, I'm way grateful.)

“Pea Soup” is a less-than-appetizing title for anything about to be placed on a dining room table. On the upper end of the intellectual spectrum, guests will confuse it with fog. At the lower end, your company may never stop giggling. Yet, this version, from Nigella Lawson (as interpreted by Serious Eats) will make friends, family, and pets forget all about the name.

Boasting a lovely, Kermit-reminiscent shade of green and a staggering prep time of 15 minutes (five of them spent doing dishes), Nigella's Pea Soup is one of the simplest, most rewarding comestibles I’ve ever had the pleasure of wolfing down (the other being Bobby Flay’s Parmesan Crusted Portobello Mushrooms with White Truffle Oil).

Fast dishes aren’t supposed to be this good. Cheap ones shouldn’t taste this classy. Peas legendarily suck. Yet, against all odds, Nigella won my heart. And possibly my Boyfriend. He loved it, especially paired with lasagna and a crunchy side salad.

Next time you have to prepare an upscale soup at breakneck speed, try it out. A few suggestions, though:

1. Puree the everloving heck out of it. Otherwise, you’re left with a slightly mealy texture that becomes less appealing with every leftover sampling.
   
2. Should you go heavy on the cheese, ease up on salt. Parm is kind of salty anyway, and its flavor shines through in the dish.
   
3. If you have an aversion to, allergy of, or deep-seated enmity toward peas, it might be best to skip the soup entirely.

P.S. I paid a ridiculous amount for both the stock and the peas (which I thought were on sale), so I’m thinking that a better shopper could make this cost about half the price that I did.

Easy Pea Soup
4 servings – 2/3 c each
Adapted from Nigella Lawson/Serious Eats.

2 cups vegetable stock
3 cups frozen peas
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
Salt and pepper
2 teaspoons Olive oil
4 teaspoons Parmesan cheese

1) In a medium saucepan, heat stock over medium-low heat. Pour in peas and cook until just tender.

2) In a blender, process peas and stock until totally smooth. When almost finished, add balsamic vinegar and mix a little more.

3) Season with salt and pepper. Serve topped off with a little olive oil and paremesan cheese (1/2 teaspoon of olive oil and 1 teaspoon of parmesan per serving worked well for me. - Kris)

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
131 calories, 3 g fat, $0.71

Calculations
2 cups vegetable stock: 30 calories, 0 g fat, $1.09
3 cups frozen peas: 374 calories, 1.3 g fat, $1.43
1 Tablespoon balsamic vinegar: 10 calories, 0 g fat, $0.07
Salt and pepper: negligible fat and calories, $0.03
2 teaspoons Olive oil: 80 calories, 9 g fat, $0.06
4 teaspoons Parmesan cheese: 28 calories, 1.9 g fat, $0.14
TOTAL: 522 calories, 12.2 g fat, $2.82
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 131 calories, 3 g fat, $0.71

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Broiled Eggplant Japonaise: Brutti Ma Buoni

If there was ever a case for not judging a book by its terrfiyingly scalded cover, Broiled Eggplant Japonaise is it. DAMN, this is good. Traumatizingly ugly, but good.

When I say “ugly,” I don’t mean “slightly unattractive," “aesthetically challenged,” or “appearance deficient.” I mean “Chinese crested dog mated with an Orc.”

I mean “the August 22nd Rangers-Orioles game.” (NOTE: This is a baseball score.)

I mean “all the clothes on Go Fug Yourself, but especially this Chloe Sevigny hat.”

I mean "the political prospects of closeted Idaho senator Larry Craig."

In other words, Serious Eats was not kidding when it compared this dish to a bowl of slugs.

Yet, if you can get past the hideous, hideous façade, it's a pleasant surprise – a filling, easily prepared, vegetarian-friendly meal with honest-to-goodness Asian flavor. For health/availability reasons I cut the oil by a third and used a large regular eggplant. Still, damn tasty.

Behold, if you dare...

Broiled Eggplant Japonaise
3 servings
Adapted from Serious Eats/Jacques Pepin.

2 tablespoons Canola oil
1 gigantic eggplant
1 clove garlic, minced
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco sauce
Salt

1) Turn on your broiler and cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.

2) Cut the stem ends off your eggplant. Proceed slicing the eggplant into long strips, each about 1/2-inch in thickness. Drizzle the oil on the cookie sheet and mix it around with the eggplant. Sprinkle with a little salt. Broil for about 4 or 5 minutes per side, until eggplant is tender.

3) While eggplant is cooking, mix garlic, soy sauce, sugar, and tabasco sauce in a large bowl.

4) Once eggplant is finished, throw into the bowl with the marinade and toss gently, so eggplant is covered. Serve.

Approximate Calorie, Fat, and Price Per Serving
181 calories, 9.9 g fat, $0.57

Calculations
2 tablespoons Canola oil: 248 calories, 28 g fat, $0.08
1 gigantic eggplant: 230 calories, 1.8 g fat, $1.39
1 clove garlic: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.05
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce: 13 calories, 0 g fat, $0.14
1 teaspoon sugar: 46 calories, 0 g fat, $0.01
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco sauce: negligible calories and fat, $0.03
Salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
TOTAL: 542 calories, 29.8 g fat, $1.72
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 181 calories, 9.9 g fat, $0.57

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Light Pesto: The Miracle of Basil

If fresh basil was a person, it’d be George Clooney, Olivier Martinez, and that dude from Under the Tuscan Sun rolled into one beautiful, musk-scented studmuffin. I’d date it. I’d marry it. I’d trail it from junior high class to junior high class, silently willing it to notice me, until, in a fit of pubescent insanity, I dropped a love letter in its locker.

If fresh basil was a drug, I’d be Keith Richards, Keith Moon, and Stevie Nicks rolled up into one mega-burnout. (Hopefully with Stevie’s hair.) I’d smoke it, apply it to brightly-colored stamps, ingest it in ways that couldn’t be printed in an Ozzy Osbourne memoir, much less a family-friendly blog. (Ooo...scary.)

If fresh basil was free and abundant all year around, I’d put it on pasta. I’d put it in bread. I’d put it in ice cream, cheesecake, and breakfast cereal. I’d mix it with peanut butter and make PB and J and B sandwiches. I’d have grillz made of it, so every time I licked, chewed, or breathed, fresh basil would infuse me with pungent green goodness.

Alas, fresh basil is none of these things, so I must be contented with the occasional tomato sauce, pasta salad, and scrumptious, delectable pesto.

Made with basil, garlic, parmesan, some sort of nut, and an inground pool’s worth of olive oil, pesto’s calorie and fat content is usually meteoric (i.e. 230 calories, 21 grams of fat per ¼ cup). Yet, there is a way to lighten the load considerably.

This recipe, courtesy of Weight Watchers, is a nice stand-in for the butt-conscious. First, it replaces most of the olive oil with chicken broth, cutting the fat by about 60%. Second, the abundance of fresh basil gives it a clean, earthy taste (if those even go together), meaning you won’t miss the absent oil. Finally, the lighter consistency doesn’t sit heavily in the tummy area, giving you more time to soliloquize about fresh basil. If Ebert was here, a thumb up would be forthcoming.

A word of caution about the garlic, though – two raw cloves go a LONG way. If you’re concerned about your breath/makeout potential, use a single one.

Light Pesto Sauce
4 servings – scant ¼ c each
Adapted from Weight Watchers.

2 Tbsp pine nuts
2 cups basil leaves, fresh
1/2 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth (or homemade broth)
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 or 2 medium garlic clove(s), peeled (depending on how much you like garlic)
1/2 tsp table salt

1) Over medium heat, toast pine nuts in a small pan for about 3 minutes. Toss frequently so they won't burn.

2) Pour pine nuts into a food processor. Add basil, broth, cheese, oil, garlic and salt. Process until it's the smoothness and thickness of your liking. If you like, let it stand overnight for melding/thickening purposes. (It’s better the next day. – Kris)

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
104 calories, 8.8 g fat, $0.83

Calculations
2 Tbsp pine nuts: 135 calories, 13.7 g fat, $1.00
2 cups basil leaves, fresh: 23 calories, 0.5 g fat, $1.48
1/2 cup reduced-sodium chicken stock: 43 calories, 1.4 g fat, $0.12
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese: 83 calories, 5.5 g fat, $0.52
1 Tbsp olive oil: 120 calories, 14 g fat, $0.08
2 medium garlic clove(s): 10 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10
1/2 tsp table salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
TOTAL: 414 calories, 35 g fat, $3.31
PER SERVING (TOTAL/4): 104 calories, 8.8 g fat, $0.83

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Refried Beans: Easy Like Beanday Morning

Refried beans: their very name suggests cardiac arrest.

“Beans. Those are healthy. Oh, wait - maybe not. It says here they’re fried. No, check that. They’re REFRIED. Does that mean they’ve been FRIED AGAIN? How is that POSSIBLE? GOD IN HEAVEN, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?”

Relax. Despite their forbidding moniker, homemade refried beans are surprisingly low in fat, calories, and evil. In fact, their fiber content (about 7 grams per serving) will have your colon doing backflips. (Or buttflips. Or whatever it is that colons do when they’re happy.) Plus, I recently discovered that making them in your own kitchen is relatively simple and quick as hell.

At best, home preparations are a bit garlicky and just-barely past viscous. They shouldn’t run, but you shouldn’t be able to sculpt with them, either. The first time I tried cooking refried beans at home, I let too much water evaporate, and it resulted in a pasty, adobe-style substance not unlike what you might use to build a hut. Since then, the dish has become progressively easier for me to whip up, and has repeatedly proven superior to canned versions.

Listed below are two recipes: a super-basic one from the back of a Goya can, and a more complex version from Food Network’s Ellie Krieger. I found the restaurant-styleGoya beans to be less expensive and a tad less flavorful, while the Ellie beans are a little pricier/gourmet-ier/kickier, but either would make a delicious side for your next fiesta. Or you could eat ‘em all at once. But who in the world would do a thing like that?

(*farts incriminatingly*)


Ellie Krieger’s Refried Beans
3 servings – heaping ½ c per serving

1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp ancho chili powder, or other chili powder
1 (15-ounce) can pinto beans, preferably low-sodium, drained and rinsed
2/3 cup low-sodium chicken or veggie broth, plus more if needed
Salt and pepper
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves

1) In a large skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and cook until soft but not brown, about 3 or 4 minutes. Add garlic and chili powder, stir, and cook for 1 minute. Add beans and chicken broth and cook until everything is warm, about 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2) Mash mixture using either the back of a wooden spoon or a potato masher. If needed, add more chicken broth for moisture. Stir in cilantro and season with salt and pepper.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
182 calories, 5 g fat, $0.54

Calculations
1 Tbsp olive oil: 120 calories, 14 g fat, $0.08
1/2 medium onion: 56 calories, 0 g fat, $0.18
2 cloves garlic, minced: 10 calories, 0 g fat, $0.10
1 tsp ancho chili powder, or other chili powder: negligible calories and fat, $0.04
1 (15-ounce) can pinto beans: 350 calories, 2 g fat, $0.50
2/3 cup low-sodium chicken broth: 10 calories, 1 g fat, $0.38
Salt and pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.02
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves: negligible calories and fat, $0.33
TOTAL: 546 calories, 15 g fat, $1.63
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 182 calories, 6 g fat, $0.54


Goya Refried Beans
3 servings – heaping ½ c per serving

1 Tbsp olive oil
1 14.5-oz can pinto beans, undrained
¼ onion, chopped small
1 large garlic clove
salt and pepper to taste

1) In a medium skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add garlic and onions, and cook until onions are soft and translucent.

2) While onions are cooking, combine beans and bean juice in a bowl. Mash with potato masher. Add to onion mixture when finished.

3) Cook everything until liquid has reduced a little, and the beans are the consistency you like. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
168 calories, 4.7 g fat, $0.25

Calculations
1 Tablespoon olive oil: 120 calories, 14 g fat, $0.08
1 14.5-oz can pinto beans: 350 calories, 2 g fat, $0.50
¼ onion, chopped small: 28 calories, 0 g fat, $0.09
1 large garlic clove: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.05
salt and pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.03
TOTAL: 503 calories, 16 g fat, $0.75
PER SERVING (TOTAL/3): 168 calories, 5.3 g fat, $0.25

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Rattle and Hummus

Last week’s falafel sauce recipe, though delicious, featured an ingredient that’s a bit more expensive than the average bear: tahini paste. And if you’re just becoming acquainted with this high-fat, peanut butter-esque sesame concoction (as am I), you’re probably wondering what the hell else to do with the leftovers (as am I).

Fortunately, hummus, one of the world’s great dips/fillings/playthings uses tahini paste as a main component. It lends a nutty flavor and creamy consistency that gives depth to the humble chickpea. On the flip side, lots of hummus recipes overload on tahini, which means scrumptious sesame flavor, but middlin'-to-serious fat content.

So, to find a delectable, healthier hummus, I started with the bible: Cook’s Illustrated. Captious Vegetarian has their recipe, but suggests halving both the water and salt while leaving out the olive oil. Captious’ mom comments that she substitutes reserved bean juice for water, and slugs in more garlic, as well. Finally, Southern Living proposes adding cumin (yay!) but leaving out the tahini (boo). I would have strongly considered this last version if it wasn’t for that fateful lack of sesame. Seed-omitting miscreants.

The final product of these compromises was a light, lemon-y hummus with more than enough taste to compensate for the reduced tahini. Eat it, love it, live it:

Lemony Light Hummus
6 servings – ¼ cup each

1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
3 Tbs. bean juice reserved from can
3 Tbs. juice from 1 large lemon
2 Tbs. tahini
½ - ¾ tsp. salt
1 small garlic clove, minced or pressed through a garlic press
dash cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1) Stick everything in a food processor. Process for one minute, until desired smoothness is met. Add more bean juice if you’d like a creamier consistency.

2) Eat immediately, or refrigerate to let the flavors come together.

Approximate Calories, Fat, and Price Per Serving
96 calories, 4 g fat, $0.28

Calculations
1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas: 350 calories, 7 g fat, $0.79
3 Tbs. bean juice reserved from can: negligible calories and fat, $0.00
3 Tbs. lemon juice: 30 calories, 0 g fat, $0.50
2 Tbs. tahini: 190 calories, 18 g fat, $0.25
½ - ¾ tsp. salt: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
1 small garlic clove, minced or pressed through a garlic press: 5 calories, 0 g fat, $0.05
dash cayenne pepper: negligible calories and fat, $0.01
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin: negligible calories and fat, $0.05
TOTAL: 575 calories, 25 g fat, $1.66
PER SERVING (TOTAL/6): 96 calories, 4 g fat, $0.28

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